The Boy Across the Street (Brendon Urie)

Chapter 31: Am I Doing the Wrong Thing?

Rebecca's POV

"I'm done with him! I'm so fucking done! I can't believe I left another country to see that piece of shit!" I spat out rushed and harsh. "Becca, calm done. It's okay." Ryan tried to manage the rage that was pouring out of me. "No, it's not fucking okay! Two minutes before he got in the car crash he was on the phone talking to me. You know what he was talking about Ryan? He was talking about how he loves me and how he misses me. What the fuck happened between now and then???" I got up from the couch in Ryan's living room and started to pace.

Ryan watched me unable to let comforting words roll of his tongue. He opened his mouth and shut it again. He looked up at me with concerning eyes that were sending me a message to stop my episode of commotion. I sighed in defeat making my way back to the couch with arms folded across my chest. I relaxed a bit as Ryan pulled me into his arms with my head resting on his shoulder. "I just don't understand." I said as my eyes took their gaze at the floor and demanding to let my emotions roll down my cheeks.

He kissed my head and whispered in a soothing tone, "I know, Becca. I know." I looked up at him with my eyes stuck on his. He glanced down at my lips and my stomach became nervous. I started to learn forward unsure if I want his contact. He then made the extra inch that I was too scared to take towards a kiss. It became clear to me that I did desire him. I was all in and I wasn't sure if it was right or wrong. He started to place my back onto the couch leaning over me but not removing our connected kiss. I began to tug at his shirt acknowledging it's lack of purpose. I felt his smile on my lips and he then proceeded to meet my wishes.

Every fiber of my being wanted me to stop this but yet I continued. "This is Brendon's best friend. You know. The guy you broke up with about an hour ago." My brain tried to talk some sense into me. My self conscience made a good case but I think Ryan's lips made a better one.

He started to place his hands under my shirt and his warm hands met my cold skin. Goose bumps began to form on my stomach. He smoothed them out by rubbing his thumbs against my skin. He started to pull the shirt up and off my body. The reality of the moment continued to become more and more clear as our contact increased. I understood the weight of the situation and tried to block out the negativity of this moment. Why does my brain have to ruin everything with it's excessive nagging? Just let me do something stupid without having to regret it.

Ryan started to kiss me more aggressively and I mimicked his actions. He then unbutton my shorts and I did nothing to stop him. He slid them all the way off and I was contemplating on whether or not to do the same to him. I rimmed his bottom lip with my tongue which drove him crazy. He moved his kisses done my neck and I couldn't help but enjoy it. I bit my lip and decided I was going to do this. I interrupted him to pull off his studded belt and jeans. I grabbed his face and attached our lips together. He understood what I meant by my actions and worked to pursue my wishes. I was losing my virginity to Ryan Ross.