Dear Mom,

what happened to you?

dear mom,

i spent the rest of the night all tired and upset,

thinking about how adam was treating me. 

it's not my fault that i don't feel the same way as him. 

it's not like i can control how i feel about others.

i don't know, mommy.

if anything, it's just irritating how adam was treating me this way.

and i know that it's unhealthy for me to harm my body for how he treated me.

but, i just couldn't help myself.

i rarely ate after he continued ignoring me. 

which is stupid, 

since i'm already most likely around 90 pounds or something.

but, i don't know.

i know it's also stupid for me to still be hung over in the past.

but, when adam was ignoring me,

it really brought some bad memories back.

it sort of felt like how when aaron was alive and he just kept on pushing me away and ignoring me.

how, even when daddy was all alive, he rarely spoke with me and rarely looked at me when you died.

even, when angie and marcus were dying, i didn't do anything.

i couldn't do a thing.

is it my fault?

is it really my fault for not doing anything?

should i have screamed and yelled at him mommy?

should i have pushed daddy to talk to me?

should i have screamed louder for help for marcus and angie?

should i have just not allowed marcus and angie to go outside?

i don't know anymore mommy.

i don't know what to do anymore.

anyways, i skipped breakfast again today,

for the 50th time,

cedric was becoming a bit too worried and he kept on pestering me and interrogating me about what was wrong. 

he kept on asking "is adam speaking with you again?"

"are you okay?"

"don't you want to eat some more?"

"i think you should have some of my food. it's really good, i know you'll like it."

sometimes it can become really irritating when he asks me what's wrong.

i just don't want to continue having to stay quiet and not say anything.

so, i told him everything, i told him how adam was still ignoring me and i told him it was bothering me.

and he just looked at me with this relaxed expression,

and he just smiled,

a huge big wide smile,

and he told me that adam will speak with me again.  

it was weird.

so when i woke up the next morning,

and when i skipped breakfast for the 51st time,

and headed inside cedric's car,

and as i got out of the car and headed inside of class,

i found adam coming right over towards me,

with a huge purpleish blackish bruise on his face,

and with his left arm all swollen up the size of a tennis ball.

he said to me with this really big smile:

"hey ann.

i'm sorry i've been ignoring you.

please eat again.

i'm really sorry and i shouldn't have treated you that way."

and then he gave me this really tight smile,

and sat right next to me in class. 

of course i wanted to ask him what happened to his face and arm,

but something made me feel like that was a topic that he'd rather not speak about.

so, i said nothing, and i just stayed silent while i wrapped my arms around adam,

and just tightly hugged him,

feeling a few tears run down my cheeks.

i wiped those tears away though because it was useless for me to cry over something so small.

love,

ann

happily written on another picture of adam.