All Hale the King (Sterek)(Hale Twins)

but-

Derek layed next to Stiles, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. The two layed in silence, but it was a comfortable silence. Derek fought to keep from touching Stiles. He wanted to hold him and kiss him and-

"Derek, I can feel your wolf reaching out, what's wrong?" Stiles turned to look at the alpha.

"I'm sorry, I just want to be close to you," Derek sighed.

Stiles felt his chest tighten at his words. He wasn't sure he'd ever be used to Derek being so honest and open.

"Derek, I'm right next to you," Stiles rolled over so he was facing the alpha.

Derek, who had rolled to face Stiles, reached out, running his thumb along Stiles' jaw, before allowing it to land on Stiles' arm. "I know, but I want to be closer."

Stiles ran his tongue over his bottom lip anxiously, causing Derek's eyes to fall to his mouth.

Stiles felt his heart rate pick up. He knew staying with Derek was a bad idea, but Stiles had spent weeks unsure if he'd ever see the guy again. It was hard to stay away from him.

"How would you feel about being my emissary?" Derek asked suddenly, catching Stiles off guard.

"I think you're caught up in the moment and you'd regret it," Stiles shifted nervously.

"I regret several things, but that wouldn't be one of them," Derek shook his head.

"Three things,"

Derek looked at Stiles quizzically.

"You regret three things," Stiles clarified rolling back onto his back and looking at the ceiling.

Derek let out a sigh. Stiles was referring to the note he'd left him.

"You regret trusting Kate, you regret trusting me, and you regret hurting me."

Derek clenched his jaw before sitting up. "That letter was a cowardly act, and I'm sorry. I've added a few things to my list of regrets since then, that letter being one of them."

Stiles sat up as well, "You said something in your letter... you said, you did want me, all of me, forever, but you didn't deserve me, you didn't deserve anyone..."

Derek dropped his head with a heavy sigh.

"I want you to know that's not true. You've been through a lot, and you deserve to be happy. If being alone makes you happy, that's what you deserve, if being with me makes you happy, that's what you deserve,"  Stiles spoke gently.

Derek turned to Stiles with a hopeful look, "What are you saying?"

Stiles met Derek's green eyes, "I don't know what I'm saying," Stiles sighed dropping his eyes to his lap. He was in a constant battle with himself. Half of him wanted nothing more than to be with Derek, but the other half was afraid of getting hurt.

Derek lifted Stiles' jaw. As if reading his thoughts, he spoke quietly, "You're afraid."

"I love you, Derek, but-"

"I've messed up too many times," Derek cut in.

"I want to be with you so bad, but-"

"You don't trust me," Derek finished again.

"So you understand?" Stiles asked hopefully. He didn't want to hurt Derek.

"I do," Derek nodded, turning away.

At that moment, Stiles wished he could still smell Derek's emotions. He wanted to know what Derek was feeling, without asking.

"I'm sorry," Stiles sighed.

"Don't apologize," Derek frowned, turning back towards Stiles, "you have nothing to be sorry for, this is on me."

"I don't want you to feel that way. I don't want you to look at me and see me as a regret or something that went wrong. I don't want to be lumped in with Kate," Stiles grabbed Derek's hand in his.

"Stiles, you are nothing like Kate. When I look at you, I don't think any of those things. When I look at you, I think, this guy is the best thing to ever happen to me. He's stubborn, smart, beautiful, and I'm so lucky to have him in my life. I don't want you to think you have to be with me so I won't think poorly of you. Stiles, I love you, no matter what. You could leave here right now and decide you want to be with Peter and I'll still look at you the same and I'll still love you the same. Will I be devastated? Beyond belief, but I've learned my lesson when it comes to hurting you. I won't do it again."

Suddenly Stiles' lips were on Derek's. It was a heated kiss, showing Stiles' desperation. He knew he needed to stop. He needed to be careful, these could easily be empty words. But the fact that Derek was saying such meaningful words at all was a big deal.

Stiles pulled back slightly, breathless. "Damn it, Derek, I hope you mean that, cause I want to allow myself to love you."

Derek closed his eyes, their foreheads still touching. He wanted Stiles' trust back. He needed Stiles' trust back, his wolf depended on it.

"I'm gonna go sleep on the couch, cause I don't trust myself in a bed with you after a conversation like that," Stiles climbed out of Derek's bed.

"You're serious?" Derek frowned.

"Dude, you're a Greek god, laying half naked and telling me how much you love me,  I'm dead serious. I only have so much self control. And when your wolf is as desperate as I can feel it is, my spark doesn't exactly make it easy to resist," Stiles threw his hands up for emphasis, "I thought I could handle it, and I thought it would be good, for my spark to be close to you."

"Please don't sleep on the couch, I'll sleep on the couch, stay here," Derek urged, standing.

"I'm not kicking you out of your bed, Der," Stiles rolled his eyes, "I'll be fine, seriously, Deaton said you need to get some decent rest. You won't get that on the couch."

"Neither will you," Derek countered.

"I've spent the past three weeks sleeping at my computer desk. Knowing you're home and safe, I'll sleep like the dead tonight," Stiles smirked. His smile faded instantly as he saw the way Derek flinched at the word dead.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean..." Stiles stepped in touching Derek's cheek gently.

Derek pulled Stiles into a tight hug once again burying his face in Stiles' neck, taking in the scent.

"If I promise not to touch you, and to shut up, will you stay? I don't want to be alone," Derek's voice broke. It was hard for him to admit that.

Stiles heard the desperation in Derek's tone and felt the fear in his wolf. This wasn't just some ploy to get Stiles to stay, this was Derek being truly honest and letting Stiles in.

*AN*
Another bit of Sterek filler.