Baby's Father

B R O K E N

Last week had to have been the hardest week of my life honestly. I lost Bobby, my cousin hates me, and I'm known as that "home wrecking hoe." Whenever the salon was closed I would sneak in and get my shit but I guess Kesha caught on and changed the locks. I hated that the shit went down but then again I didn't regret that shit.

She had a baby by my man and that shit broke me to pieces. Bobby had been blowing my fucking phone up and I felt dumb for answering the few times and cussing his ass out. I just needed someone to understand.

I relaxed in the hot tub with slow music playing in the background. Images of him with her, fucking her how he did me, getting her pregnant made my head hurt. I slit my wrist for the third time letting the pain leak through and run its corse. The way he would talk about our future you would think I actually meant a damn to him.

I cried and cried for days trying to figure out was I in the wrong completely? Why did Bobby get married if he knew I was so in love with him?

I slit my wrist again dipping them in the hot water. I didn't want a life like this, I didn't want to know that I was part of the reason for some shit like this. I dunked my head under water ...

••••
"Kesha I've apologized over and fucking over again! You said you wanted to make this work but your still give me shit about it!"

"You're bisexual for crying out loud Bobby! That's not some shit I can easily get over, you did this to our family! That bitch is still sneaking around the fucking shop looking for his opportunity!" She threw the pillow in my face.

"Look Kesha, I know this shit is a tough pill to swallow but I want this family. I just want to be myself with you and be more open." I tried touching her but she backed away.

"A grown ass man has been sucking the same dick as me! Doing anal, kissing, and touching you." She gagged running to the bathroom. I sat down feeling defeated. I tried Allen's phone again but it only rung and shut off.

She walked back into the room making me hurry to hide my phone. "What are you doing?" She looked at me in pure hate breaking my heart. "N-nothing." She charged me trying to grab the phone. "Kesha, calm down!" I grabbed her pushing her on the bed. She smacked me in the face sending a sting through me.

"You're texting Allen huh? What does that bitch have that I fucking don't? My ass is real, I give you sex when you want, I have these boobs you love so much." She grabbed my hands trying to get me to touch her but I shoved her off. "You're so fucking stupid!" She shouted crying and throwing things. I grabbed my keys and jacket, I couldn't take it anymore.

She yanked and pulled on my close, cursing and slapping me. It took everything in me not to go crazy on her. I shut the door feeling freed.

I had to see Allen, I had to clear this up with him. He shown me the way and I repaid him with a baby from the wife I was going to hand divorce papers to this week. He was the first guy I ever loved and he never made me feel bad about myself. I miss laying with him, laughing, joking with each other. With Kesha it was such a double life I barely wanted. I needed to be with her because honestly I feel like she would hurt our unborn child without me.

People think this life is easy but it's not, it hurts not being able to express your true self. The way Kesha looked at me in disgust at that office reminded me why I wasn't so open. How cold Allen was being I couldn't bare. I loved him, I wanted him in my life.

I stopped my car in Allen's driveway hoping out the car. I knocked on the door for what seemed like forever but I got no answer. Remembering he had a house key hidden in the flower pot I unlocked it.

"Allen?" I called out here music play the closer I got to his room. I pushed the door open so hard it hit the wall but I didn't see anything. "Bobby?" I slowly entered panting. "Allen?" I looked down at the carpet leading to the bathroom seeing it was wet.

I slowly pushed the door open seeing him under water. "Oo no Allen!" I rushed over pulling him out the tub onto the bathroom floor. "Allen? Allen!" I hovered over him putting the palm of my hand on his chest pumping.

"Fuck!" I pumped harder trying to keep my head straight. After a few more pumps he coughed up the water glancing at me. "Hey? Hey! What did you do?" I grabbed his wrist seeing all the cuts. "No Allen!" I cradled him in my arms rocking back and forth. This was all my fault, tears ran down my face.

"Bobby?" He faintly said making me smile. "Yes?" He sat up coughing up the rest of the water. "What the hell are you doing here?!" He screamed with anger confusing me. "If I didn't come here sooner you would've been dead meat."

"Just leave." He slowly stood up wrapping the towel around him like he wasn't just suicidal a few seconds ago. "No. I'm not leaving you." I stood firm not backing down.

"Isn't it a little too late to try and show your loyalty to me?" He scoffed clearing his throat. "Look Allen, I'm sorry, I'm sorry that I did this to you. But you have to believe me when I say I do love you. You showed me who I truly am."

He laughed weakly. "I showed you that you are a pathological lier and that you're not good for shit but your dick and good looks. You have a fucking wife for crying out loud! A baby! A house! A fucking family!" He went on naming the things that weren't all too important to me but my child.

"Allen, I know I fucked up. I'm just waiting for Kesha to have my baby and it'll be me and you forever." He snapped his neck in my direction looking at me crazy. "You think I'm really gonna be with you after this? The wife, I could handle that bitch but a baby Bobby? You told me y'all were sleeping in separate rooms!" He cried.

"I know-I know I did and I lied okay. I didn't want to believe I could be in love with a man. The day you walked into my salon you just attracted me in a way I've never felt. Yeah we walked and flirted before I hired you but that was different. I'm scared to love you because I'm scared of being different." I said honestly making him shake his head.

"It was okay for you to love me Bobby. Hell I fucking adored you for crying out loud, I lowered my standards for you after you married the new bitch in the salon. You were so much to me but you threw that away so fuck you!"

Well you see how Allen, Kesha, and Bobby are handling shit. It's tragic really.

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