Baby's Father

Camila, are you okay?

Weeks Later..

I sat in Carter's room rocking in the chair looking around at the blue and black walls I just painted. I smiled down at my stomach feeling at peace with it just being us. I was done crying over Rodger and stressing behind a man that was still gonna do him.

He was blowing my phone up almost everyday about some us shit but I was done. It didn't set in until I was at the Thanksgiving table hosting dinner by myself with a fake smile. Until I was the only one waking Ari up for school and being sure work is done. Until I was laying in that king sized bed by myself for what felt like a life time.

Now I was sitting in December with only a few more weeks left to meet my baby boy. Tamra has been real helpful with helping me out prepping for the birth. My heart still felt heavy knowing Rodger wouldn't be there with me. I was going through it all alone again and it wasn't fair. Ari swung the door open making me hurry to wipe the lone tear that fell.

"Hey baby." I smiled holding my arms out for her to hug me. She hugged me and tight making me want to break down in her little arms. "Mommy, are you okay?" I nodded my head putting her hands in mine. "I'm okay now." She smiled sitting next to me in the stool.

"Is daddy coming back home?" She asked sort of quietly making me sigh, I knew the question was coming soon. "Not now, your father got some things going on in his life so we thought it was best to separate." Even saying that shit felt like a hard pill to swallow. She dropped her head low but I picked it up because the last thing she needed to he was sad.

"It's going to be okay, I always got you baby and don't let anything we going through make you forget that. Your father loves you to death okay?" My voice cracked trying to blink away the tears. It wasn't fair that I had to for a second time explain why dad isn't here for us.

"Now go take a bath, food should be ready in a minute. Let Cassity know it's almost time to get off that phone and turn it in." She nodded her head leaving me in the room alone. Cassity hadnt been making the best choices lately so now at nine O'clock I get the phone and it stays with me until she gets home from school. Her grades been off, and she's been real antisocial, I tried asking questions and being there for her but she won't speak on it.

Every time I mention school she shuts down like she doesn't like it.

I got up from the rocking chair going to my kitchen making sure my food was okay. I was making something simple; chili dogs and fries. I wasn't in the mood to really cook and they knew that so they didn't ask. Ari wanted to bake the Christmas sugar cookies so they were in the oven. You had to watch them little things, they baked so fast.

Tomorrow we were putting up the Christmas tree since my nephew; Cj would be moving in. It felt so good to have a new face in the place, he was always cracking jokes and that's what I needed.

"Can I just have it for one more hour please." Cassity came out her room already begging. "No ma'am, you already know that ain't happening." She groaned putting the phone in my hand. "Thank you." I slid it in my back pocket taking the chili dogs out the crockpot.

"You ready for Cj to move in?" "You know I am, gotta have someone else around me to annoy other than Ari." We both laughed.

"Well you can let Ari know the food is ready and make sure that girl turn that tablet off." She laughed, "I will, she think she slick."

I walked up stairs and to my bedroom closing the door behind me. I took a hot bath earlier but so much was on my mind I wanted to take another just to really think. I walked in the closet seeing a naked wall to my left and my clothes surrounding it. I grabbed a t-shirt and panties going to start my water.

I was just so trapped in my mind although Allen and Amari fully understood where I was coming from. Relationships weren't perfect but sneaky shit like that was crossing the line. I didn't give a fuck about him doing it for business he knew it was crossing the line in our relationship and what we hopped to achieve together which was ultimately marriage.

I wasnt the "yes bitch" or the "let me hear my nigga out even though this some fishy shit" bitch. I've always said what was on my mind unapologetically. If a man gives me any reason not to trust him that makes me alert to a lot of shit he do. The way he easily swiped my hand away taking control of my body to cover up his mess disgusted me. He always told me things and everything he failed to tell me always ended up in a fight because he wasn't honest. People tend to expect the woman in the relationship to be cool with shit that the man wouldn't be cool with.

If I played "boyfriend" with a nigga I am positive that Rodger would've kilt the nigga where he stand. He lucky I only beat his ass and bleached a few clothes. I wasn't accepting anything lower than what my dad did for my mom. He always treated her right and made sure I was okay and she was. I can't remember a day they fell out over him being so sneaky.

Every time I found myself missing Rodger I just thought about what happened and it all goes out the window. I trusted him not to hurt me anymore but he did which broke that trust. He promised to-never have me out here looking dumb but he has once again. A female calling your man's phone telling you some shit like that always made your stomach turn.

I finished washing up letting the stopper out of the tub getting out. I picked my phone up seeing it was nothing but nonfictions from him and my other apps.

💔:Just checking in on Ari making sure she's straight.
💔: mama said she can't wait to meet the baby.
💔: it's been weeks, we need to talk. I'm sorry baby.

Me: Ari is fine, she'll have her tablet tomorrow so you can facetime her.

I sent the message ignoring everything else he said. His mother was supposed to been here but after everything I put that on hold. She understood why so she didn't question after that. "Y'all are dumb and in love baby, my son is the dumb one right now but y'all are meant to be." She said. I wanted that to be true but I can't think about that when I don't even know if he's going to be attending the child's birth.

If he was attending I didn't want him in the water with me but he can watch. If anything, Allen was going to be there for me and I was perfectly okay with that. It's always been me and Allen since the beginning of time. It'll still be a beautiful thing letting his uncle welcome him into this world.

I tossed the t-shirt over my head saying screw the panties. Snuggling up in my bed cutting on the Tv. Things always had to become worse before the better came along and I was trying to be a strong believer in that but it was hard.

Little update on how Camila is handling everything, I wonder how Rodger is holding up?🤧🤔 this was even tough for me to write and it's crazy cause I felt myself wanting to cry for them & Im the one who wrote the shit lol. But that just shows you how something that was meant to be harmless can fuck up something good...

Sorry y'all but i had to unpublish this because the funniest thing happen🤣i guess girl mad cause me and two of my followers blew her down so she get on here typing this FAT ASS paragraph only for me to delete it 🤪😊😁 i just wanted you to know if you tryna write paragraphs publish a book sis cause I'm the wrong one to vent to😘😘but enjoy & for now on i'll be deleting EVERY comment you put ❤️🤗

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excuse mistakes...