Wasted

Chapter 33 (!)

A/N this is a very important chapter! Sorry it took me three days to complete because I had no inspiration and it is such an important one.. But here it is! Hope you like it a bit.

*Louis' POV*

My eyes slowly open. They have acclimatize to the light creeping through the small window. A smile creeps upon my face by the memory of last night when she gave everything to me. She exposed herself completely. The parents will be back around ten am. Madison isn't laying in my arms like she did last night when she was drifting to sleep but the pillow smells like her. This 'making up' thing wasn't really what I meant but I did like it. I do like the fact she doesn't give her virginity so easily. I can wait, and actually when I'm honest, I don't really mind waiting.

I push the sheets aside and get out of bed. I try to place them as clean as I can back on the bed. I walk to the door and silently open it. I see her in the living room, the little bastard sitting on her lap with a huge smile on his face. Maddy is making weird faces and I can barely hold back my laughter. I stare at her, caring for the child. She showed me that the kid actually isn't that bad and his parents just can't handle him. I stopped calling him an 'it' as well. So he really is a lucky man.

Harry's words creep into my mind.

"I didn't tell her because I see you're falling for her."

"Keep her, she's good for you."

"Finally there's someone who actually cares about you."

"Don't ruin this."

I keep staring at the girl with the deep green eyes. That hold so much more than I thought in the beginning. She isn't just someone. She has a story and that makes her so special.

What if Harry is right? What if I'm actually falling in love for the first time in my life? He's right; I don't dare to hurt her. I don't want to. I don't want to see this girl in pain, she already had so much of that in her life and she doesn't deserve it. I gulp at my thoughts. She's changing me. She changed my way of thinking and I'm falling in love with her. I can't break her heart. I want to be around her as much as I can. I want her. And it took me damn long to realize that. I didn't want to admit it to myself but I was slowly falling in love with the sparkling in her eyes.

But what do I have to do now? Just drop the plans? Just stop with it? Or do I have to tell her the truth? No. Absolutely not telling her the truth. She'll run away and I won't have her back. But what now? I never felt this before. I don't know what to do.

I close the door again and grab my phone. I dial Harry's number, at least he knows about everything and he has a girl now. He's my best friend, I need his help now. I need to call him this same minute before I change my mind now I have the courage.

"Louis?" His morning voice sounds through the speaker.

"Harry you were right. I fell in love with her and I fell hard."

"Wow. What made you suddenly realize?"

"I don't know, just watching her."

"What are you going to do now?"

"You tell me."

"Don't tell her about the plan okay? When she finds out you're doomed."

"I know but what do I have to do?"

"Just.. Be the boyfriend. You already are so..."

"Just keep doing what I did?"

"Without the lies."

"Okay."

"Louis dude, finally. I knew it!"

"I know. I actually feel bad now."

"And you should."

"I know." I sigh. "Thanks man."

"No thank you man." Harry sighs in relief. "Alison got out the shower, I'll see you around right?"

"Yeah, bye."

Why did it take so long to realize? I was blinded by the anger and revenge I felt towards my family and what they did to me. They broke me and I thought I could get over that by breaking someone else. I even thought that seeing them as broke as I was, was going to heal my scars. But it didn't even though I thought it did. I didn't use the girls, therefor I should've gained something out of it but I didn't. Use is the wrong word.

I wipe my eyes again and run my hands through my hair. What have I gotten myself into?

I open the door again and find her, her bright eyes pear into mine. I had her but she was never mine. Until now.

I want her and I need her more than I ever needed anybody and she made me realize that herself. She changed me without knowing and without me noticing she did. I was slowly falling for her, Harry noticed but I didn't.

I walk towards her, I have to remind myself that she's already my girlfriend. It seems so odd now.

"Morning beautiful." I say and kiss her forehead. "How is little devil doing?"

"Louis, he's no devil." She scolds playfully. Dimples appear in the corners of her mouth.

"Okay maybe not with us." I admit. The kid is actually very calm when he's around us. He laughs, plays, eats and sleeps. But when his parents are around he's a little bastard, crying and yelling. Maybe he takes a bit too much after me.

My mind trails off, thinking about my parents and brother and little Rosie. How my parents told me in my face I was no good for Rosie and I had to stay away from her. I wasn't allowed to be near her anymore. The person I loved the most. I never liked kids but she was the only child I actually liked. Actually loved. And that didn't turn out very well.

And of course my perfect nerdy twin brother stood there, the crying Rosie in his arms, staring at me and saying nothing to help me. We had a good connection and he was my best friend. Until the end if high school. Since then he hates me and he has all reasons to. I hurt him so bad but I actually thought he'd stand up for me in front of my parents. What a thought, he'd never do that for me. He doesn't have the balls for that. He's the complete opposite of me and because I know I wouldn't stand up for him, I thought he would for me. Don't know what I was thinking.

"They'll be here any minute." Madison says and wakes me from my deep thoughts.

"Uh yeah." I say.

"I'll miss Timmy." She admits and starts playing with the small human again. I love the sounds and weird faces she makes just to make Timmy laugh.

"Very flattering." I say, she ignores me, but I know se heard it.