Wasted

Chapter 55

*Louis' POV*

She's quiet. She doesn't run away like she promised me to but this isn't much better either. I thought her reaction would be totally different.
Then after five minutes of quietly staring at me, answering the questions in her head I suppose, she talks.
"Why?" She asks me. Her green eyes so vulnerable.
"Because I have no job, I'm in college and I have no parents that give me the money I need."
"You have them now." She almost cries.
"I'm not asking my mother money after not seeing her for four years. She doesn't know me."
"God Louis, she's your mother."
"Well she didn't behave like it."
"I'm not the one you should discuss that with. Talk to your mother, call Liam, I don't care but clear this mess up in your life. Get over it."
Her words are straight away, hard. I know she's right but it isn't that simple. But I'll try. I found my mom back and I'll try to build up some relationship with her. But Liam.. I don't know if I could ever forgive him. And he me. But I'll try. For Maddy and Rosie.
"Why drugs? There are so many other, not dangerous ways to earn some money." She pulls me back to earth.
"It was easy. I didn't have to work my ass off or anything. I just earned and all I had to do was deliver the drugs to the people Miley told me to."
"She's your boss?"
"Yes."
"Oh god."

She stands up from the bed, walking towards the still locked door to walk away. "Open it." She demands.
"You said you wouldn't run away."
"I just need some air."
"No you don't."
"Open the fucking door!" She yells but her voice breaks.
"I can't, Harry has the key."
"Then call him."
"No, I won't let you run away from me again."
"Actually I never came back." She says. It hurts cause I know it's true.
"I'm serious." She breathes. "I need air." I can see she means it now, her cheeks are bloody red and the rest of her face pale as hell. She's getting unwell. This situation is getting the best of her. I, am getting the best of her.
I hurry to the small window above the bed to open it. Madison comes towards me to get closer to the fresh air. It's not much, but it's there.
I can see she really enjoy's the cold coming in the room. She fills her lungs by taking deep breaths. As she closes her eyes and parts her lips I find it too hard to look at her.
"Why do you do this to me? To your family? Why do you do this to yourself?" She asks the night sky. Her questions are for me but she isn't posing them directly to me.
"I don't know." I answer. Her watering eyes find mine and it takes everything in me not to grab her face in both of my hands and kiss her tenderly. Instead of doing that I open my arms slightly, offering a hug. I know she'll probably thank for it and look away, ignoring my move. I know I'm the last person she wants to hug right now but still she comes closer and wraps her arms around me. Her head is placed on my chest and I lay my chin on top of her hair, going up and down with her sobs.
This isn't how I expected her reaction to be. This is much worse.

•••••••••

*Maddy's POV*

I slowly wake up, the light creeping through the window make me close my eyes again. I have to pee but a heavy weight is laid on top of me what keeps me from going, that and the door is still locked. It takes two seconds to realize where I am, why I am here and most important, what is laying on top of me. Louis. He's laying half on top of me , our legs tangled and his arms wrapped around me. His head is on my chest, slowly going up and down on the beat of my breathing.
I try to push him off of me, I really need to pee you know. He starts mumbling and prevents me from going away by coming to lay completely on top of my body.
"Louis?" I ask. When he doesn't react I try again, louder this time.
"Hummm." He answers.
"Louis get off of me." I try to push him away but he's too heavy.
"No, I'm good."
I must say I'm pretty good too. It's been a while since I've been this close to him, and I catch myself on enjoying his presence. Seen the circumstances, I still love him. There's no minute, no second, I even doubt about that. But the trust isn't completely back. I need time but obviously Louis isn't so good at that. I fell asleep, crying and exhausted. But now he's acting like all of this never happened and we are back in time, before all this misery and pain.
"Lou, I need to pee." I surprise both of us by calling him Lou again.
"Ugh." He growls. He rolls off of me so I can step out of bed. But there's still one problem: the door is still locked. That stupid curly guy didn't even think about unlocking it before leaving that stupid party. And that stupid guy over there didn't even think about calling Harry before he fell asleep. And who's taking the consequences? Me. Of course, me. I have to pee and nobody seems to care.
"Louis can you please call Harry?"
"What?"
"Or should I pee here right in front of the door?"
"Louis opens his eyes slowly, running one of his hands through his messy hair. I look away, it's not fair. I need time but god he isn't making that easy for me, looking this damn hot.
"Here." He mumbles, pushing his phone towards me. "It's already calling."
I hurry towards his and sit down on the edge of the bed, placing Louis' phone to my ear.
"Hey Lou, everything alright there?"
"Uhm it's Maddy."
"Oh hi Maddy. Look I'm sorry but you guys needed.."
"Yea right but could you please come and open up the door?"
"Did you guys talk things.."
"Yes we did but could you please come?"
"Sorry Maddy, only if everything.."
"We talked okay? I just need to fucking pee! Come here and open that door or I'll break it and find you!"
I hear Louis chuckle behind me and it takes a damn lot not to laugh along. Harry's obviously surprised by my sudden yelling but hey it helped.
"Okay I'll be there in five."
I hang up. When I place Louis' phone on the bed I realize his hand is laying on my thigh. I'm debating with myself whether or not to remove it from my leg and place it on the bed next to me. But Louis catches me staring at it and slowly removes it himself. I don't know if I feel thankful or slightly sad.

Ten minutes later we hear the sound of a key in the lock. I jump off the bed, I swear I'm on the edge, and Louis tilts his head before slowly sitting up. We didn't talk. We looked at each other, in the eyes, at the lips, at the hands, for then minutes straight without saying a word.
I'm standing by the door, waiting impatiently for it to open. And when it does I push Harry aside to make my way to the bathroom. But I have no clue where to go.

You could never understand the relief that comes to me when the first door I open ends up to be the bathroom.

...

I look at myself in the mirror. I think back of what Louis told me only a few hours ago and I still can't really get it. Now I understand him, I really do but this just isn't the way I had planned this whole thing between us. Actually, since Louis came into my life, I had to stop planning. Because Louis just isn't the type of person that keeps himself to a schedule. In contrast even, he never does. He only makes you change plans and keeps doing the unexpected. And maybe that's what attracts me the most. I never thought someone could be able to live that way. And in fact, nobody can. Louis just thinks he can and tries to convince me I can too. But I'm not sure if his way of living is good for me. It stresses me out. But on the other hand it can be so relieving. It can feel so good not needing to be somewhere in five minutes. Just living from time to time.
My life wasn't exciting, hell it was freaking boring. Louis is the biggest adventure in my life and I can't imagine my life without him anymore. If someone asked me what I would do if I could un-meet him, I wouldn't hesitate for a moment. He's the best thing that ever happened to me, even though he's put me through the hardest times.
I miss him, like a lot. There's nothing what I'd want more than get back to him. It's just that it's not as easy as that. It will take a long time before everything will be back to normal but it will be worth every second of it.

I smile to myself. I put my hair into a messy bun and open the door of the bathroom. I slowly walk back to the room I slept in with Louis and wait by the door that's still open. You ca hear Louis and Harry talking.

"Told you she would understand."
"I know man, wish I had told her sooner."
"Man I still can't believe what an impact that girl has on you."
"Me neither." He chuckles.
"I've never seen you this in love before." Harry smiles.
"In fact I never was. That's why I denied being in love with her in the beginning. I didn't know what it felt like. But now I realize I fell in love with her the moment I saw her, Harry. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me."
"I can see that. I hope things turn out well for you Lou, you both deserve it."
"Thanks man."

Then I find it a good moment to walk in and act like I hadn't heard the two of them talking. Louis eyes light up and Harry's grin grown.

"Let's get something to eat, I'm starving." Harry says. Louis and I don't break the eye contact and it feels like we're falling in love all over again. A smile grown on both of our faces, both thinking the same thing.

Wooow this chapter took so long I'm so sorry!! Finals and stuff..