Wasted

Chapter 56

*Maddy's POV*

"Melvin called." Louis says to break the, not that awkward, silence. He pushes the door of his apartment open with his shoulder so I can walk in. Somehow he convinced me to come to his place tonight. He places the pizza on the coffee table. I know why is didn't want to order, there would be a chance Zayn would appear in the doorway.
"Oh." I say, knowing what that means.
"Well he texted me actually." Louis adds unnecessarily. "He wants us to look after his son again."
"What did you say?"
"That he could count on us." He answers. Of course.

"Actually I was going to.."
"Maddy, I know you have no plans, please come with me. That kid is a monster when you're not around."
I sigh. "Okay." I know that he'll convince me anyways so keeping protesting isn't going to help one of us any further.
Besides, I would love to go babysit on Timmy with Louis again. Just the thought of seeing him play with the little boy makes my heart glow.
"Great." He says with a satisfied smile on his beautiful face. "Now let's enjoy this pizza."

...

"Our phone numbers are on the fridge." Amanda reminds us. "And in this bag is all you need." Melvin adds.
"Thanks again," Amanda says after kissing her son goodbye for the fifth time since our arrival. Timmy isn't interested and keeps playing with his toys. "See you tonight." Melvin waves us goodbye before he and his wife finally leave.

"So.. We have to place for our own now." Louis sighs. What reminds me of our last time babysitting here: we ended up on the bedroom.
"Uh.. Yeah." I fake a nervous smile. We aren't in that stage yet.
"What's wrong?" Louis ask. I say nothing, I just shake my head slightly. "Something's wrong Mad." He states. "No, I'm fine." I half lie. Seen the circumstances, I'm doing pretty fine. "Come here." He says and pats the sofa next to him. I obey and sit down next to my boyfriend. Well.. He still is right? I don't really know what we are. Immediately, Louis swings his arm around my shoulder and comes closer to close the space between us.
His lips slowly strike the skin of my jaw. The tip of his index finger striking my thighs. "I missed you," he whispers. That sounds so good and so wrong at the same time. If he'd even know how much I missed him. He'd call me crazy being able to stay away from him.
That's when Timmy calls my name. Relief, but maybe also a little bit of frustration, floats through me by hearing the sound. Louis's actions freeze and I stand up from the couch.
"Maddy can I have some chocolate?" The blond boy asks. He's so sweet, it's just that you have to look under the layers. He's hiding. Under those layers is hiding a nice personality. And with Louis, it just seems like I keep peeling but the layers keep coming.
"Okay but after that we'll have to brush your teeth twice as long." I say and walk to the kitchen to find the little guy some chocolate. The apartment still smells like flowers, just like the first time we were in here. I open one of the cupboards and find some chocolate. I break it in two pieces to place one back, and give the other one to the boy. "Here you are." I smile and hand it over. Seeing the kid this happy, just because of a tiny piece of chocolate makes me so warm inside. My smile grows wide along with his. I feel Louis' eyes burning on me, following my every move. I refuse to look back though, what would I say?
I sit back down on the sofa next to Louis. He's watching television but I look the other way. I focus on the kid, his spit floating down his face while eating the chocolate. He barely has teeth what makes him just suck it until it melts into his mouth and little hands.
Two hands travel up my thighs. Leaving invisible marks on my skin. I shiver, closing my eyes out of fear I guess. It doesn't feel the same like before. It feels so wrong.
I grab his hand with mine, stopping it from going any further.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing.. Just.. Maybe we should slow down a bit." I stutter.
"Maddy, we love each other right?"
"Of course, but Louis you maybe told me what the secret is.. But it's still there." I say.
"I can't just quit, Maddy. You don't know what she's capable of. If she finds out I quit because of you.. I don't want to know what's going to happen next."
"So what? You jut keep dealing till the day you die cause she might do something stupid?"
"If that includes keeping her away from you then yes."
"I can't do that."
"What?"
"Watching you leaving all of the sudden and having to fear something will happen to you."
"Maddy, I think you don't.."
"Understand? No, exactly, I don't. And I won't. But I'm not going to do that to myself."
"Do what are you doing then?"
"The question is what are you doing then?" I correct him.
He sighs. His left hand runs through his hair out of frustration, typical.
"We are back together for only a couple of hours and here we are, fighting again." He sighs.
"We're not fighting Lou, we're having a serious conversation here."
"Well, seems like that always ends up the same way." He says, referring to our often "break ups".
"Who's fault is that?"
"Let's stop here okay? I know that the only way to get you completely mine again is quitting. But I can't just say to Miley 'hey, look. Don't hate me but I quit okay? No it had nothing to do with my girlfriend.' That isn't how it works Mad."
"Then how does it work?"
"I don't know." The hand again.
"We'll figure something out." I try to shush him. But he isn't calming down at all. "And until then?"
"I think that until then we'll have to take things slow, very slow."
"So.. We're not together then?"
"I don't know." I answer honestly.
"So I can't call you my girlfriend?"
"I don't know." I answer again. "Maybe it's better if not."
"Well.. That's not how you promised it to be." He complains.
"Nothing of what's going on is how you promised it to be Lou, think about that first."

I look away. Maybe it's for the best. I stand up from the couch and walk over to the little boy.
"Where are you going?" It sounds from across the room but I ignore the beautiful voice.
I pick the kid up and bring him to the bathroom. I place him on the table just when my phone starts ringing. Without looking I pick up and place the thing between my right shoulder and ear. I need both of my hands to get this kid in his pajamas.
"Hello?" I say into the micro.
"Hi, Maddy! It's Ruby, how are you?" Why for god's sake is Louis' mom calling me right now????
"Oh hi, uhm yeah I'm good. Yourself?"
"I'm great honey! Listen, in a few days it's Rosie's birthday and I'm sure she'd love to have you and her brother here on her special day."
"Oh, right. That sounds nice!" I try to sound enthusiastic. Not that I'm not.. It's just that Louis maybe won't be. This actually isn't the best moment.
"So you can be here? Friday around four?" She asks, the hope more than clear in her desperate voice.
"Sure, sounds perfect." I smile, even though she can't see.
We end the call and a big sigh escapes my lips. I put my phone away just as Louis walks in.
"Can I help?" He asks awkwardly, looking at the kid on the table just not to look at me. "Sure." I answer and move a little to the side so Louis can stand next to me.
"What is it?" He asks out of nowhere while pulling the small shirt over Timmy's head.
"What is what?" I ask.
"What keeps you busy."
I remain silent, what frustrates him but I don't care. When the boy is dressed in his pajamas, I lift him up from the table and leave Louis standing alone in the small bathroom. Not much later he joins us in Timmy's bedroom. I put the little boy in bed and kiss him goodnight. I hear Louis mumble something behind my back but I decide not to ask about it.
"You forgot something." Louis says, he walks closer and is standing tight behind me now, I can feel the warmth of his breath in my neck. He places Timmy's teddybear next to the little kid. After that he puts his arms around my waist and pulls me against his torso. God please, have mercy. He slowly turns me around but I don't hesitate to press my lips on his eagerly.