Wasted

Chapter 54

*Maddy's POV*

After the movie, Louis and I finished our breakfast. I did some dishes with his help, ending up more wet than I should have been. He took my clothes out of the washing machine and I changed in his bedroom. We laughed a lot and after a small kiss on my cheek I left him alone in his, not that messy anymore, apartment.
I found it hard to leave him there, but I had no choice. I couldn't stay with him any longer cause I felt more and more the urge to kiss him, what would have been the wrong thing to do. We both want to, but it's not fair.
I pull my hair up and put it into a ponytail. A small smile covers my slightly confused face as I walk in the Starbucks -yes, again- for my second coffee of the day. It's noon now and I just don't find the courage to go somewhere and eat 'real food'.
I order my ice-coffee and sit down on my regular spot next to the window. It's getting colder outside. The days get shorter and the nights get darker, the stars brighter. I smile by my poetic thoughts as Calum walks in, warming his hands. His warm breath visible.
"Hey, Mad how are you?" He smiles as he sees me, placing a kiss on my cheek. "Great," I half lie, "yourself?" Calum's left hand runs through his dark hair. "I'm fine thanks." He answers. "Don't go anywhere, I'm getting myself a coffee as well."
A few minutes later he takes a seat on the chair on my right. "So," he starts, "How have you been the past days?"
"Good, I guess."
"And you know.. With..?"
"I'm trying to get over it."
"And is it working?" Calum asks. I look down to my hands that cover the sides of my paper cup. "I'll take that as a no." He answers his own question.
"It's just so hard, I still love him, and hr knows that. He keeps saying the right things except the truth I wanna hear."
"You talked to him?"
"I stayed at his last night.." I admit.
A dramatic gasp leaves Calum's lips.
"He took me home because I was drunk."
"I thought you didn't drink?"
"I thought that too.."
Another gasp.
"And what happened?" He asks, his hands already covering his mouth.
"We kissed." I admit. "Two times."
A way too dramatic gasp.
"We had breakfast together and watched a movie, we did the dishes together and.."
"And it all felt so right? Like nothing ever happened and you were just such a happy couple that loves one other unconditionally?"
"Yeah." I whisper. Tears almost find their way to my eyes. Nothing makes sense anymore. "Than why does it hurt so much?" I ask.
"Just because it feels this right. You want it, so bad, so does he. But you need security and that's what you're waiting for. It will keep hurting until you know the truth."
I take a sip of my coffee so I don't have to answer that. Calum looks at me, his eyes following my every move.
"I don't know what I'd do if I were you." He comments, watching me putting the cup to my lips.
"I don't know either." I sigh.
We both stare out of the window, watching the hurried people pass by. The one slower than the other. After twenty minutes Calum and I stand up to go. We talk about his band and he invites me to come to a party with him tonight. It's at Luke's frathouse and all his bandmates will be there. I nod in response, telling him I'll ask Alison to join as too. Calum smiles and gives me a short hug.
"You're strong girl, you can do this. You are not alone. Whatever you decide to do, I'm here for you. And I'm sure Ali is too."
"Thank you." I whisper and close my eyes, enjoying my best friend's hug.
"Well, well, well." I hear an annoying voice behind my back. Calum lifts his head off my shoulder to look at the person behind me. I recognize the voice. Duh. Like I'll ever be able to remove that terrible sound from my memory. Calum's eyes turned hard as I watch him, slowly getting out of his still tight grip on me. I told Calum about her, he hates her already even though he'd never seen her before.
"I see Louis is already past?" She smiles. "Told you, I had to bet for money on this. I knew he wouldn't last long with a girl like you, you're not his type."
"Oh and you are?" Calum spits. "Come on Maddy let's go."
"Yeah I am, where do you think he was these three days. He was too busy to call you baby." Miley grins.
"Shut up." I try to say but it ends up in a whisper. I knew she had something to do with his leaving, she's a part of 'the secret' Louis keeps from me. And Harry knows what it is.
"Oh don't be hurt baby, he did that to so many girls. Did you really think you were different?" An evil laugh follows.
"Leave her alone." Calum says.
"Well it was nice to see Harry's mouth can still do what it always does. He has the skills I must say."
My eyes grow wide, not believing what I just heard. My heart stops and the air gets sucked out of the shop. My mind can't process it. He did it with her behind my back? That's the secret? I thought she was a part of something bigger, something I could understand why he did it, maybe even forgive him. But this..
"Well, see you around Maddy." Miley smiles again before leaving me and Calum standing alone again. I try to fight the tears but as Calum puts his arms around my I can't hold them back anymore. "Yes babe, cry as much as you want, you don't deserve this."
"I can't believe it." I sob. All the trust I had in him is completely gone by now.