Red

1

Just an fyi, this may not be very erm, correct? I dunno, I don't think I'm trans myself, so if anything is wrong, please tell me and help me to fix it so I can have this relate to others!

Lance never felt right in his body. He was told from a young age that he had to wear dresses, had to play with dolls. He had to live up to life's standards for women.

He didn't want that though. He didn't want to wear a dress, he didn't want to play with dolls. He wanted to wear jeans and stomp in the mud. He wanted to play rough with the guys on the playground.

He was told it was a phase. He was just a tomboy. Told he had to do this and do that. Told that puberty would clear everything up.

Well it didn't. 7th grade he got his period. Nearly fainted at the sight. His body began developing and by his freshman year he was a c cup and had a curvy body.

He hated it all. He hated his name, he hated his long hair, his voice. Everything about himself was wrong.

He was brought up in a Christian household. Told by his father what he was feeling was a sin. Told him to repent. Told him he was disgusting.

And he believed him. He began to pray every night. He prayed for forgiveness and prayed for these feelings to go away.

This was the body he was born with so why couldn't he just accept it? Why did he have to disappoint everyone with his feelings?

First it was sexuality. He had started to find women attractive as well as men. Not just aesthetically appealing, but sexually.

Then he began questioning his gender. With no one to go to he began doing research. He'd stay up after lights out and search for hours about his feelings.

He found a lot. It made him feel normal to know that he's not the only one feeling like this.

After a lot of looking, he found a name. Lance. It just popped out at him. He'd no longer be Lana Charlotte McClain in his mind.
He'd be Lance Charles McClain.

After that he started to try and make online friends, eventually finding 2. Pidge and Hunk. They were Juniors like him. Pidge was non-binary and it made Lance feel safe.

>>>Losers>>>

P: you got any pets?

H: oooh good question pidge

L: yea i have a ball python. he's a big ol sweetheart.

P: show him!!

H: just don't show him eating i'll get queasy

L: awe its not that bad big guy. he's a little grumpy rn due to being fed recently, but i will when he gets happy again.

P: :((

H: i second that sad face

L: sorry :(

P: nah its fine
do you mind if i add someone?
his name is keith and he's a lonely emo.
his brother wants me to help him make friends even though he knows none of mine are exactly near me.

H: sure!!

L: yea no prob

P: cool
shiro can be obnoxious
he's like a dad
except,,
death jokes

L: that's great

Pidge added Keith

K: why am i here katie?

P: dude
for the last fucking time its pidge

K: sorry.
still getting used to that
anyways why am i here?

L: well nice to meet you too

P: shiro asked me to help you make friends
cmon introduce yourself

H: hey, welcome

K: uhh well my name is keith
conspiracy theories are really cool
im not interesting at all
so fuck you pidge

P: awe i love you too you fucking emo

L: so you believe in big foot..?

K: yes
do you?

L: no
i believe in real things bud

K: big foot is real
fuck you

P: you can just say fuck you to everyone that doesn't believe in your husband

K: mothman is my husband.

H: i think its cool he believes in those things

L: you're too sweet :')
ah fuck papi is coming to check if we're asleep
gotta get offline for a bit

P: alright

H: don't get caught

K: ...

Lance logged off

---

Lance hurriedly shoves his laptop and phone under one of his pillows. He lays down and pulls his blanket up to his chin. He closes his eyes just in time.

His bedroom door creaks open and stays like that for a minute before creaking and shutting softly. He waits til he hears his fathers footsteps depart back to his own room.

Lance sighs and yawns. Now that he was comfortable he was actually really tired. He grabs one of his extra pillows and spoons it.

He yawns again and sits there for a while. He eventually falls asleep after tossing and turning for at least an hour. He'd have a lot of messages to reply to when he wakes up.

Gonna end that here
Next chapter will have a bit of school and then snake bonding and video chats.