Kunlun Mountain Part 4 - The Return

Chapter 73 - The Diaries 2

Feeling the barrier go up, Mo Yuan frowned.  It was just after lunch and though he wasn't too concerned about her wanting privacy, he did not want her skipping meals and having eaten alone, not wanting to disturb her too soon, he had thought to take her meal to her in the library.  Though the urge to sneak a peak at where in scrolls she was up to was very tempting, but he did not.  He had promised to give her space, but taking up a tray of food and drink, he carried it to her room.

"Qian Qian?  You missed lunch." he called out knowing she could hear him even though he could not hear her.

Behind the barrier, Bai Qian was on her knees in the middle of the room with her head in her hands.  Sobbing pitifully, she didn't even hear him and it was just as well, because she was in no mood for him, she might have attacked him had she felt his essence or heard his voice at that moment.

Lost to her anger at having had her innocence taken along with the entire memory of it, she allowed herself to sink into self pity.  Though she knew deep down why he had forced her to forget it, just the thought that he had taken the choice from her without ever considering that she might have wanted to remember it only increased her anger.  

For a good solid hour she wept while her thoughts of Mo Yuan began to border on immense dislike.  But the lower she sunk, the more unstable her children  became until suddenly she began to feel strong pain that started in her lower back and began to spread around to the front of her abdomen.

Stilling the tears, her hands instantly moved to cradle the small bump while her mind forced itself to calm down.  Whispering softly to her babies, she calmed herself down until she felt the pain ease and before she knew what was happening, a soft blue energy begun to ease out from her belly to envelope her in their warmth.

But it was the sound of her sons voice in her mind that had her releasing the last of her anger as he talked her through the pain he could feel through their connection.

Mo Yuan had once again sought his help to reach out to her.  He knew by the way she refused to lower her barrier that she had reached the scroll he had not wanted her to learn of, but he had in the end wanted an end to all the secrecy until there was nothing left but forgiveness and the chance for them both to move on.

So informing his son of what she was doing, Gaogui did not need to hear the rest to know how angry his mother was.  But like his father, he too worried for the children and his mothers well being that he agreed to pass on a message, one that he gave her before pulling away.  

"Mother.  Continue reading.  Meals will be left for you outside and you will be left in peace, but you must eat." he said before releasing her mind to allow her, her privacy once again while at the same time protecting himself from her wrath which he knew would be instant had he remained connected to her.

It was all she needed to let it go and move forward.  Had he not interrupted her, she may have continued to cry it out and worsen the situation for her children whose stress she could still feel.

So, taking a deep breath, she exhaled slowly, before dragging herself off the floor and to her cushions where she sat herself down more comfortably.  Then lighting the fire, she then sent a wave of magic through her barrier to collect the meal that had been left for her.

Eating a few mouthfuls and drinking her tea, she then took up the next scroll and began to read.

"Should a time ever come when I am forced to face her with the bare truth of what I have done, how will I answer her?  Will I excuse myself because of the very real potency of her spell, or do I admit that for a few seconds I actually had the ability to stop myself?  It is very easy to see the wrong she committed but I am certainly not without fault.  I am forever the one who must carry this guilt so she can live in peace without the painful knowledge that I took her most innocent of treasure for one moment of pleasure.