Thunderstorms

Twister

"Alright, Maia! Remember to follow his movements, don't rush it!" Georgia yelled, but as Zodiac and I were cantering towards the oxer I couldn't help myself but doubt about it. Why the fuck did I doubt? Zodiac was a pro at jumping, was I afraid of the oxer's height? "Maia, wait for him!" Georgia warned, but it was already too late, and I felt the cold hit of reality when my back collapsed against the arena's floor." Loose horse!" Georgia shouted, and immediately everyone else in the arena stopped what they were doing. Had Zodiac just rejected the jump? Probably. I chickened out and didn't wait for him to actually jump. As Georgie said to me, I always rush it and never give Zodiac the right cues to go over the jumps confidently. Poor Zodiac, I knew it wasn't his fault. "Maia, are you alright?" I heard Georgie said. As she appeared over me, I could see concern written all over her face.

"Uhhm... yeah, I think I'll live" I felt like shit. "Could you just... please... catch Zodiac for me?" I couldn't see what he was doing, but I could definitely hear him running and bucking all around the arena. Naughty boy.

"Yeah, no problem. You sure you're alright?"

"Yeah, I'll just... I just need a little time to get up, you know. Maybe even just stay here thinking about why on Earth I happened to like horses so much" Georgia burst out laughing at that, being it my cue to let her know I was ok.

"Alright, darling, don't be so exaggerated. Take your time and get up, I'll try to get your horsey for you".

"Thanks, Georgie" And with that she was out of my sight. I took my hands to my face, rubbing it gently. It had been so long since my last fall, like four years ago, maybe five. Something was up with that horse. Of course I always made my mistakes when riding, but he was never one to reject obstacles. I knew something was wrong with him, but I had checked and rechecked him and found nothing. Maybe it was just me. From the distance I could hear Georgie whistling at Zodiac to calm him down and when I finally stood up, I saw one of the other teachers catching him and taking him towards Georgie. I looked around the arena, meeting the faces of shocked students, some of them trying to suppress their laughter. Fuck. I decided to stop torturing myself and instead started rubbing the dirt off my clothes. My new breeches were covered in mud and sand, just great.

"Here, darling" I got out of my trance as Georgie appeared in front of me, her arm stretched towards me, handing me the reins that led to my horse. I took them as I thanked her and gently started rubbing Zodiac's forehead. "Alright, I'll help you get back on, come on".

"Actually, Georgie, I think I'll pass" Georgie looked at me bewildered, I wasn't one to say no, least of all when it came to stuff like this. If I feel off my horse, I would get back on and try to make it right again, unless I had properly injured myself, that is. But today I couldn't help but feel sad about it, and I just didn't want to make Zodiac go through everything again. I would probably end up falling off once again. "I don't know, I'm not feeling like it, sorry".

"That's alright, darling, you take your time. I hope that for next Tuesday all this bad vibes in you will be gone".

"Yeah, I hope so too" We were silent for a while, each of us looking in different directions.

"Right, you do know that I still can't let you take him to his stall without getting back on again and checking if something's wrong with him. So... if you don't want to do it, I'll have to, ok?"

"Yeah, sure, go ahead. You know I wouldn't let anyone else but you get on my horses. I'll just wait for you at the door" And with that she got on Zodiac and started cantering him towards the same oxer. Of course they jumped it perfectly well, which meant it had clearly been me. Still, as I was watching Georgie and Zodiac from the exit to the arena I couldn't help but feel gloomy about it. Actually, the fall itself hadn't hurt that much, it was the thought of what falling off after so many years meant. What was I doing wrong? And what was up with Zodiac?