i love u to the moon n back

missing you

Running out those doors of freedom,
heading for the freedom that was summer,
I knew I should've been excited-
but I wasn't.
I haven't been looking forward
to the end of the year
at all, if I'm being honest.

Usually every year,
a loner like me would be hella hyped
to be away from school during the summer,
but, well, I ain't a loner anymore.

Too many new friends I made this year-
too close to me to not miss them.
I can't go through everyday at home
without missing my best friends.
They had been my world in those days,
but now all I can do
is text and maybe even call-

but it just ain't the same.

I've been missing y'all so much-
so much that I wanna go back to school,
and I bet
other people are missing their friends, too.

Just because I have social media now
doesn't make this easier as it should be.
There's nothing that can compare
to a conversation,
whether it be memes and dirty jokes
or something deeply personal,
that is face to face
with the friend you see everyday-
the friend you'll have to say goodbye to
till you see each other again the next year.

But that's the thing-
I don't wanna wait till next year!
I wanna be with my friends everyday!
I wanna hang out with you till the end of time!

Sounds hella corny,
but it's true!
Waiting like this
is killing me,
especially when you have that fear
that those friends might move...
like some already have.

There's that cold feeling inside me-
that cold void-
that can only be filled
by those friends that had left....

At least one of them I'm certain
I shall meet again,
but I'm scared that the other-
the one I haven't talked to
face to face since he left-
will have forgotten about me
by the time I had promised
that we'd meet again in high school...

I'm scared that missing you
is making me too vulnerable.
Opening up about how I feel
without my friends by my side
is making me feel like a loner again...

So if you ever have the time to call or text,
please do so,
because I don't even know
if I can handle spending my whole summer
without any communication
missing you.