i love u to the moon n back

first love

Once told a friend "relationships suck."
I still stand by that statement to this day.
Believe me, I've been through it before-
before I could ever even dive into it.

I'll always remember
those days when I kept it in.
And even now, it's still a secret
that this was what I felt.

I imagined all the firsts that we had.
Rejection was inevitable, but that's okay,
yet no one ever warned me
that there was so much more out there.
When you said you never felt the same,
I never cried because I wasn't naive,
but I still remember all the firsts
that I had imagined for my first love.

These feelings I never knew I had
until years later-
I guess it's one of those things you always knew.
Maybe it's for the best that I forget it,
and I almost did.
But to watch you be happy
without needing anyone
reminds me of what I should've been
instead of what I was before.

You walked in for our very first dance-
the best dress I've ever seen you in.
Maybe everyone would've stared,
but who really cared?
If only you hadn't moved so far,
then maybe things would've been different.
I can't stress enough that I don't feel this way no more,
but I can't help but remember
my first love.

The love after that was much worse.
At least my confessions for you were resolved.
But then I got caught up in a love square,
and if only he wasn't right there.

Appreciate how both turned out to be good friends.
Love how we act as if nothing happened,
but I can't help but remember how it was
to fall in love.
I guess next time this ever happens,
I must jump and rise-not fall...
maybe if only there were no consequences,
then maybe love would be easier....

Take my heart and put it back.
Fool me once, shame on you and I.

We're better off as friends,
and I honestly don't need much more than that.
I couldn't care less about the past,
but I guess I can't say my first love
was my last.