i love u to the moon n back

bottled up

I don't know
what it's like to not be worried no more.
Don't know
if life's ever gonna be simple anymore.
I don't even know
if everything will be alright ever again.

What is this, really?
Isn't life going great?
I mean, it sort of depends.

I've got plenty of friends.
School is pretty cool-shocker, I know.
Life's getting a little easier and more simple,

but really it's only getting worse.

So much pressure
on my grades and whatnot.
Too much studying
to even give me a break.
And then there are those friends
who keep wrecking the stuff that meant something to me,
and they say they're my friends,
but are they really?

Then there's Saturday school.
My Vietnamese class-
studying for it, at least-
is literally mentally draining and exhausting.
I could literally have a breakdown
if I overstudy at this point.

Doesn't really sound like the end of the world,
but it really does feel like it sometimes.
I get so tired of all this crap,
I don't know how I can even maintain my chill right now.

It's like I'm numb-
numb enough to smile or to laugh
when really I'm falling apart inside.

Maybe when I said that I was happy
I was really lying to myself,
because even if I do feel happy
with my friends and family,
I'm not
all because of this immense pressure.

Why is life so complex and loaded?
Is it too much to ask
for life to go back
to how it was before?

I guess it is.

Got these emotions bottled up.
I don't know when I'll finally lash out.
Feel like I really just need
to talk to someone, you know?
Anyone who cares enough to listen, anyway.