i love u to the moon n back

new beginning 🅴

Started off the year by losing someone special to the family.
Then I went back to school
and lost a friend who was
really special to me.
I guess you really say
that I ended up starting the year
with a bunch of losses,
and that's just the start of all that bullshit.

Got closer to some certain friends,
but it didn't last forever.
Then I found a best friend,
but the bond went through hell and back.
It was all my fault;
I should've been less judgmental
and more understanding for the both of us.
The ocean washed my biased vision away,
and we're good friends again.

The end of the school year,
nothing was ever the same.
Said goodbye to good friends,
and unfortunately for some I lost contact with.
Loving life was never harder
than it ever was before,
but at least I had the positives,
which were fun, friends, and family.

Then summer started...
the most boring yet weirdest part of my year.

At this point, this year has been hella boring.
Yet somehow it's also the very worst.
Although I had much more friends than ever before,
that ended up being my disadvantage.
Too much of my attention was divided,
and I wish I was still able to reminiscence
before I was too attached and off-putting
and just wanted to be a good friend.

I get tired too easily of myself.
Thought I actually loved my own being,
but instead I loathed who I was.
People tried to calm me down,
but all I did was lash out
for things they somewhat didn't even do.

Went through too many arguments
with a friend just because of a significant other
whom I had gone grown closer to-
maybe too close,
with feelings I barely understood.

Got to learn from all of them,
even if they sometimes wrecked my life.
Even if they made it worse,
at least I learned from both of our mistakes.
Some of it was just too much-
we almost thought we would lose
a significant friend of ours.
A dark time in my life
I never wanna relive again.

School starts again,
and for once I am excited
to get out of hell that was my whole summer
and have a new beginning.
But then some old friendships started to fade
and now all I feel is empty.
Then again another friend came back
and made some of my weeks better.

Some days I have a smile on my face.
Some days I end up broken.
Some weeks I feel like things are looking up,
and some weeks I feel dead inside.

Things started to progress,
and I somehow kept finding my real friends.
Maybe they aren't the ones I wanted,
but they're the ones I want to keep.
Feels like every time things fall apart,
other things fly back together.
What a rollercoaster it was for me,
but at least I've got some peace now.

I just want a new beginning,
and that's about to come real soon.
Hopefully we're all much happier
than we were at some points this year.
Just imagine what we all had to go through-
I finally became a teenager...
and felt much more than I could bare
and said some things that scared them
and me....

But when midnight comes,
it'll be a new beginning.
That beginning will lead
into something amazing.
This year was beautiful too in its own way,
but it was also the worst for me
and for some of us too,
and I wish the very best for all of us.

Clock keeps ticking.
Friends come together.
Open your eyes
and watch that ball drop.

Under the moonlight;
under the twilight sky;
you'll see how gorgeous and wild it is
at how things can change in just a year...

It's the end of the year-
the end of an era...
and the beginning of a new one...
a new beginning.