i love u to the moon n back

road back home

written with my friend, Juan Carlos Rivero

There's no place like home
Except it's all torn apart
Like a hole in your heart
No escape
Except getting rid of it all
Burning my house and shooting the dog
There's no return for the things I've done
And no way to go back to the home
where I went and killed them all

Looking through my phone again.
No one's been checking on
how I'm doing.
They don't realize how much it really hurts
to load up the bodies in my big truck.
I'm so high; I can barely get enough.

There's no place like home.
There's also no turning back.
Just need to keep driving to the dead end.
Soaring through the clouds
as if there's nothing left ahead
but my next kill.

Lately, I've been feeling a bit empty.
I wish that I could turn back time
and remind myself to never screw up again,
but I did,
and there's no turning back.
Unfortunately for you,
when someone's got nothing to lose,
they can literally do anything.

Anything.

There's nothing to live for and I don't understand
Perseverance doesn't seem to be the solution to a truck filled with the anxiety of my everlasting pain
The country road shines through the night sky
I really shouldn't be this high
And it's dangerous to go alone
But I wanna go home
Reverse what I did and love who I had loved
Find the ones I decided to name as "lost"

Take me with you into your paradise.
Forget all the things I did in my past.
Why can't we get along and move on?
Is it really that complicated?

All my kills weren't full of thrills.
They haunt my dreams
as much as they haunt the victims' families.
Take me back to when I didn't have nightmares.
Take me back to when I was never high.
Take me back to when I had never held a weapon.
Take me back home.

The moonlight shines across my face.
I want to go back to those moonlit nights
when I sat on my rooftop
watching the stars shimmer
against the dark sky-
the darkness that was my craving soul.

Now the Sun shines in this dark dreadful world
Reflections of blood thats was splattered on the floor
The Sun peeks through the thin, shallow glass

Both super high, me and the sky
If only this would get me out of this place
My soul bargains for love and belonging

But nothing is there to give it.