i love u to the moon n back

13

Thirteen years of struggling,
yet I still was excited about today.
Who knew so many people would tell me
they wished me a happy birthday?

Walking through a normal Friday
as if nothing special is today.
But good thing y'all acknowledged me;
otherwise I might've hidden my hurting.

Loneliness is one of my hidden feelings,
even if I've always been a loner.
I hate being solo, especially on this day,
so thank you for sending me your wishes.
I wish for life to teach me a few lessons,
and that everything will be okay.
I hope that you know how grateful I am
to be surrounded by all of you at 13.

Grateful that today was more relaxed.
Warms my heart that you know I exist.
But even though my birthday was going well,
there were still a few surprises left for me.

While talking about my first day
being a teenager,
someone I knew left a reply
that nobody cares.

I swear that I wasn't gonna be hurt today.
Won't let their ignorant words bring me down.
But even if I try to hide it all in,
all I can say is that it did sting.
Wish people would just let others be happy
instead of always making me feel small.
Good thing that he barged out of my life
before I could turn away and break down.

But then again, it wasn't a big deal.
Barely anyone knew, and I never think of it much anymore.
Especially since it definitely got better
when I was able to reach out to you.

We hadn't talked in months.
It's been over half a year since I had heard your voice.
Just to talk to you again-
it's like nothing ever changed,
and I hope life is treating you better
than I ever could....

Came back for those few days,
and the times that we talked
were the best gifts I could've gotten.
Thank you again for everything that you've given me
and for wishing me the very best.

Thank you for remembering
that today was my day.
I'm thirteen and don't know what to do,
but you don't even know how much I'm grateful for you.