i love u to the moon n back

get out 🅴

It all started when you called her a hoe.

We've been friends for over a year now.
Thought I could count on you,
even if you got to me a few times.
That was the first time
you really struck my nerves
enough for me to start hating you.

It got to me, and worst of all,
it got to her.
At least we both moved on from that,
even though I'm technically still
lowkey pissed at you about it.

My whole summer was boring,
but at least it barely had you in it.

School starts.
You come back into my life
just to tear it to shreds,
even though what I was going through
was hard enough already.

I was starting to lose a friend.
I was feeling left out by another.
I was bullied by another group of friends.
Then there's the overall pressure
just from all the schoolwork I have to do.

You never made it any easier for me.
Actually, you made it worse.

Each and every day since then,
you have made me feel horrible
towards you
and myself.

I'm not saying it's entirely your fault-
in fact, I think I need to calm the hell down, too.
That still doesn't give you the right
to ruin my life.

Life was not going well for me,
but then I had the friends-
even those who also made it worse-
make it better.
And the friends I was starting to lose
had started to come back.
Everything was working out
even better than they were before.

But then there was you.

Remember that one day when you annoyed me so much that I snapped?
That day left me wondering
how much of a monster I am.
Am I such a monster
that I'm the one causing all this?

Maybe I am,
but then again,
that ain't an excuse to ruin my life.
Do I have to repeat myself and elaborate even more?

Well, maybe you do,
because you even know some of this.
You knew I was getting frustrated
of your annoyance;
your bragging;
your hypocrisy;
your lying;
you being your own self-conscious self...

yet you never stopped anyway.

Some days I thought of you as a friend,
but some days you made me feel
so hateful towards both you and myself,
I felt like I just wanted to go home,
take a nap for a while,
and never wake up.
Some days I just wanna strangle you-
worse that I wanted to strangle Ocean Man-
to see if you would suffer
just as much as I was,
because it's supposed to go both ways,
isn't it?

And the fact that you,
among many other stresses in life,
have made me think of doing all that and more,
should sum up how you have ruined my life
and that you need to

get out.

This is why we can't have nice things.
You have mind-twisted me into a monster...
a monster worse than you could ever be.

I admit I have my own faults-
more than you do, maybe.
I can be a hypocrite too.
I can be annoying.
I can be a pain,
and if I'm somehow ruining your life too,
I'm sorry... I really am.

But
I need you to get out of my life
before things get worse for both of us.

I would've cut you off already
if it weren't for that
we have five periods together in school.

I hope after reading this,
you'll understand
that it's best for me-
that it's best for you-
to either stop tearing my life into pieces
and be the friend you were way back then,
or get out.

Get out before the monster awakes again.