i love u to the moon n back

in my head

Looking behind
as if there's always somebody on my back.
Overthink
as if everyone's judging me.
I don't know what to do
but to bite my lips and look away.

No one's worried
about my inner mentality,
but my friends have been
wondering whether I'm really fine,
because deep down, I might not be-
I'm just stuck inside my head... again.

I'm alone, stuck in my head.
Countless thoughts, crashing traffic jams.
All I'm waiting for is for someone to
help me escape this pain.
In my head, there's nothing but truths-
some of them I never want to admit.
Don't want it all in my head.

Trying to guess what you'll say next.
How come it's been months since we've talked?
Weeks go by and I'm truly okay,
but then I realize how much I still miss you.

It's never easy
being in my own mind.
Struggling to not break down again,
but it's getting harder and harder
every day and night.

All alone in my own head,
thinking of whether I'm still in your thoughts.
I hope you've moved on and forgotten about me,
and I wish I could get you out of my head, too.
They hold me so close, it's like I'm so high...
enough to remember what it really means
to actually be okay with who I am,
instead of just getting stuck in my head.

Someone pick me up from here.
I don't want to ever go back.
Maybe there's something wrong with me.
Is there any way you can help me heal?
Drive me in the getaway car
and keep me close to your heart.
Get me out of my head-
just fly me to the moon and beyond....

So much pressure to be perfect-
studies, social status, and my character.
Remember when I said I was finally happy for once?
Maybe that lie stabbed me on my back.

I guess that's what karma did for me-
for me being so greedy and stressful.
I try to hide my very past
with a mask of humor and sarcasm.
Imagine if I was actually high
instead of faking a persona.

I wanna do stupid things like
losing my V-card and partying
like a normal teenager that I've become.
Let me have some freedom for once!

Panicking... do you really love me?
I think of you-you're always in my head.
Trying to get myself out,
but the doors won't ever fly open.
Take me in your arms
and just fly me away.

I'll say that I'm grateful for your existence
and thanks for helping me get out of the hell inside of me.
She'll say, "You're my ride or die."
He'll say, "Thanks for being the realest friend."

I want to fly away.
Let's go past the moon beyond.
And maybe when I'm actually ready-
without all this pressure
and a healthier mentality-
I'll be back
and I'll mean it
when I say,

"I love you to the moon and back."