The King's Harem

Chapter 30

Koren said I had gotten softer lately.

I was unsure what that truly meant, but I know I have felt this yearning.

The need for intimacy.

My skin itched

MY need to touch and be touched was overwhelming

I would seek it out. I used to be so hesitant but now the caution was thrown to the wind.

I would find myself in Koern's room my finger combing through his hair ever so gently.

His head resting in my lap.

Small kissing was exchanged ever so often.

It was nice. No need for sexual intercourse.

Just the feeling of being close was enough.

"You have been so touchy lately" Koren commented

We sat at the table eating breakfast.

I was sitting in Allon's lap my hand firmly grasping his. I refused to let go so he had to feed both himself and me with one hand.

My other hand played with Ari's sleeve. He too had to eat with one hand.

"Have I?" I answered not really caring to get into this conversation.

"Maybe she just loves us? You ever think of that Koren?" Ari teased

I tuned them out opting to instead fall into the warmth and fuzziness that came with this close proximity.

I laid my head on Allon's chest and brought his hand to my lap.

I studied it. The slender fingers were delicate, but strong. His perfectly maintained nails.

Allon was pretty all around.

I felt him remove his hand from my grip but before I could protest he brought tit to my chin and lifted my head to look at him.

"Are you listening?" he asked

I came back to myself then, looking around all eyes on me in concern.

"No sorry I was just...thinking"

"Well, we wanted to see if you....

The fuzziness took over again. I wasn't sure what they said or did, but I just wanted to bask in their warmth. I loved this feeling I wanted it to never go away.

But I knew I could not get my way.

——————————————-

It was finally the day they were supposed to leave and I was fiercely on edge. As the day drew nearer it became harder and harder to spend any time with any of them. The comfort I found from intimacy was shattered. In its place, a cold seeped in. I felt it in my bones.

It seemed I could not gather that warmth again. The feeling made me irritable and sometimes downright mean.

I could tell Grisha had found my presence less than desirable lately. I need to make that up to her at some point.

Unsurprisingly I managed to sleep very little the night before, staying up worrying myself. The cold was even worse. I wrapped myself in blankets so thick I could barely move, but the cold was still present. I was beginning to live with it and that was making me feel worse.

Once it hit morning Grisha was surprised to find me already up and dressed.

"Your majesty the pigs must be flying"