SOPE | Memory

Pain

"No, I don't want her. You can help me, I know you can," Hoseok screamed again as a fresh wave of pain washed through him.

Yoongi broke. He gently pulled Hoseok into a sitting position, then pulled him into a hug. He could feel Hoseok's tense muscles and his shivers.

"Shh, it's okay, everything's going to be alright. Shh," he whispered softly into Hoseok's ear, rubbing circles on his back. Hoseok started to relax as the pain faded into delirium.

A soft knock sounded on the door.

"Is everything okay in there?" came Dawon's worried voice. Yoongi opened his mouth to reply, but Hoseok beat him to it.

"Yeah," he made out in a normal voice. He grabbed Yoongi's hand and squeezed it hard when his lungs burst into pain. It felt like someone was ripping him apart from the inside.

"Okay, good. I'll be in my room if you need me," Dawon said, then walked away. Yoongi could hear the relief in her voice that Hoseok was talking again.

"Hoseok, you're not fine! You screamed," Yoongi scolded quietly, letting Hoseok squeeze the life out of his hand.

"But you're here now... I don't know why, but whenever I see you, it feels warm inside. Like, warm, you know? Like I belong somewhere, that somebody really cares about me more than normal. Did..."

"Did what?" Yoongi asked gently, trying to ignore how wet Hoseok's shirt was, how hot his back felt underneath the shirt.

"Did you... did you love me?"

Yoongi paused for a long time, thinking, then answered in a voice that he hoped sounded stronger than how he felt.

"Yes. Yes, I loved you very much, and I still do, I always will. But I love you so much that I'm not going to risk hurting you again, and that means I can't be near you. So, I'm leaving in five minutes."

Hoseok burst into tears.

"Please, no! That hurts even more! Please, I just want to remember, because I think I love you very much. More than everything hurts right now." Hoseok pleaded.

"Hoseok, no. I'm not going to hurt you again," Yoongi said firmly. "Please forgive me," he added in a whisper so soft he couldn't even hear it, he just felt his mouth move. He stood up and gently laid Hoseok back down, then opened the door and called out softly.

"Dawon noona? I have to leave."

"No!" Hoseok protested, but he couldn't move, let alone get out of the bed.

Dawon immediately came out of her room.

"Is he okay?"

"No, he's not. Get him to a hospital."

"If this is your 'I'm not hurting him' crap, get back in there right now."

"No."

Yoongi left quickly and shut the door quietly behind him, leaving a slightly pissed and deeply worried twenty year old, and a sobbing sixteen year old doubling over in pain.