SOPE | Memory

Thanks, Noona

Dawon ran into the house and closed the door behind her loudly. By then, Hoseok's voice had gone hoarse.

"Hoseok!"

She found her younger brother curled up on the couch where he had been earlier. He was sobbing and shaking.

"Hoseokie," she said gently, panting from the sprint. "Are you okay? What happened?"

Hoseok turned away.

"Hoseokie," she repeated, quieter. Hoseok was weak with pain, so she easily turned him back to face her and nearly fell backward.

Hoseok's face was clouded with pain and hurt and sadness and longing, but covering it all was something she'd never truly seen. Anger.

"He's blind," Hoseok tried to shout. He managed a croak and gasped in pain.

"Are you okay? You can talk later, do you want to go see a doctor?" Dawon asked, mind whirling. What had happened between the two boys?

"I'm not okay! Yoongi--" Hoseok coughed at the name then whimpered. "Yoongi's different. He's not the boy I used to know. I can't remember, but I know that much. He won't give me what I want. He's just trying to protect me but I don't need that, I want my memories back. I'm different too, I've changed. But nobody ever stays happy and innocent and naive forever." Hoseok paused to try and catch his breath. Dawon gaped at him.

"Hoseokie, I don't think... you shouldn't... you guys shouldn't be upset with each other. You love each other--"

"No!" Hoseok shouted, ignoring the burning in his chest. "It's not real love! He sees what I used to be, and he loves who I used to be! Not me. Maybe he loved twelve-year-old Hoseok, but that's not me anymore! I'm sixteen, and I'm weak and hurting and sad and he doesn't love that. He doesn't love me. And I don't love him, either. He has exactly what I want, but he's too scared and selfish to give it, no matter how much I want it, need it." Hoseok finished and lay there, gasping for breath and wishing he would just pass out.

"It's going to be okay, Hoseokie. Listen to me. I know you. You don't usually get this upset, but you're going to be okay. Things will clear up and you'll have Yoongi back, and he'll have you back. Like before. It's going to be okay. Okay," Dawon said softly, gently pushing Hoseok's sweaty hair away from his clammy forehead. Hoseok closed his eyes.

"I want to go back home," he whispered.

"Your home is Yoongi," Dawon replied.

"No. No, it's you. You've always been here. I'm blind, I didn't see that. I'm so sorry, noona," Hoseok said. The pain was slowly fading from unbearable to a sick torture. Then to just a burn... slowly fading away to delirium.

"Hoseokie," Dawon said. "It's okay. Don't be sorry. You're sweet and kind and beautiful just the way you are. You aren't blind. I love you."

"I'm weak... like I'm five. I can't eat by myself, can't fall asleep by myself some nights..."

"Shh," Dawon shushed. "It's okay. It's going to be okay."

"Thanks, noona."

"Shh..."

Hoseok gradually uncurled and fell asleep. Dawon smiled and pulled a blanket over him, then decided to stay the night and slept on the floor beside him. 

a/n: 

i'm like 90 percent sure i used that gif before in some chapter 

tis okay 

it's still beautiful