SOPE | Memory

What's Wrong?

"Hoseok," Yoongi said softly. Hoseok stilled. He said the name like it was something special. A blessing. A rare warmth filled Yoongi's eyes. "I don't mean to drive you nuts. I just need you to stay safe and happy, okay?"

"I'm not happy," Hoseok mumbled. He was starting to feel lightheaded.

"Yes, you are, and I need you to stop worrying about me," Yoongi said gently. Hoseok wasn't expecting this.

"No, I'm not. I want you, Yoongi hyung, I want you to be here when I bite my pillow so my parents won't hear me screaming, I want you to be here when Dawon is too busy to come, I want you to be here when I cry..." Hoseok broke off. Suddenly, the floor was tilting...

"Hoseok? Are you okay?" Yoongi asked in a worried voice. Hoseok was shaking and swaying.

"I--" Hoseok began, but suddenly, the ground rushed up to meet his face very quickly.

"Hoseok!" Yoongi cried out, catching Hoseok at the last moment. He flipped him over and laid him down on the ground gently. "Are you okay?!"

Hoseok was shaking hard, and his eyes were closed.

"H-Hyung, h-help m-me," he moaned.

"What's wrong, Hoseok? Should I call someone?"

"N-No," Hoseok said, his voice unsteady and weak.

"Can you tell me what's wrong?"

"I want t-to remember," Hoseok tried to stop shaking, but he couldn't. He felt cold and hot at the same time.

Yoongi drew in a sharp breath.

"H-Help," Hoseok's voice was growing weaker.

"What's wrong, you need to tell me! I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong, Hoseok," Yoongi said, gently massaging Hoseok's forehead.

"I a-ate today," Hoseok mumbled.

"What? You're supposed to eat," Yoongi said.

"I didn't e-eat for a l-long t-time, it m-makes me s-sick and it h-hurts my s-stomach," Hoseok gasped and curled up, clutching his side. It hurt, and it hurt bad.

"Hoseok?! You aren't eating? What else aren't you doing?!" Yoongi asked, suddenly noticing just how skinny Hoseok was, how the muscle that he had seen on the day of the barbeque looked smaller.

"D-Dance," Hoseok moaned again. "I'm g-going to t-throw up."

Yoongi picked Hoseok up and found the bathroom. Hoseok immediately started throwing up in the toilet. Yoongi held him up and rubbed his back. When he was done, he flushed the toilet and made Hoseok rinse his mouth, then carried him to his room.

"You skipped dance?"

"Y-Yeah."

"Why?"

"B-Because it m-made too many p-people like me and y-you were c-cold about it o-on that f-first day a-and I didn't w-want you to be c-cold, because I-I n-need you, hyung, I n-need you a l-lot and--ah!" Hoseok broke off in a whimper and started shaking again.

"Shh, it's okay, Hoseok, you're going to be okay... shh..." Yoongi whispered. He would address the problems later.

"N-No, everything is w-wrong with m-me, I c-can't even e-eat and I-I made you u-upset a-and I-I... I s-scream at night into my p-pillow b-because I'm not s-strong enough to take the p-pain, when other p-people have t-taken so m-much more... I'm j-just a greedy t-teenager..."

"No!" Yoongi shook his head wildly, even though Hoseok's eyes were closed. "You are none of those things! Hoseok, the only reason I'm upset is because I don't get to talk to you--" Yoongi broke off. He'd said too much. Hoseok opened his eyes, and even through his pain, Yoongi could see a bright spark, burning white. Hope.

"Y-You want m-me t-too, hyung?" he asked. Hope poured into his voice. Yoongi took a deep breath.

"Yes, I do, Hoseok, but I'm not going to hurt you again--" Hoseok cut Yoongi off by pulling him down onto the bed, into a hug. Yoongi stiffened, but slowly relaxed. He couldn't help it. Hoseok was warm and welcoming. Yoongi pulled his arms around Hoseok and pushed Hoseok's head into chest gently.

"You didn't hurt m-me," Hoseok said into Yoongi's chest.

"Yes I did. You can't remember anything," Yoongi said, rubbing Hoseok's back and holding him close. Maybe this slip up was a bit too much, but if it was all he had, he wasn't letting go so soon.

"I wouldn't be alive if you didn't save me," Hoseok said. Yoongi tensed.

"No," he said.

"No what? T-There's no excuse, there's no e-explanation, the f-fact is y-you saved me."

"Hoseok..."

"I don't forgive you, hyung."

Tears sprang to Yoongi's eyes.

"I'm sorr--"

"I can't forgive you for something you never did. You never hurt me, hyung."

"Yes, I did, Hoseok. I did. I got annoyed, I made you go in there, I--"

"You loved me. And I loved you. And now I want that again, hyung. I want that again." 

im not saying that just cuz the pic is up there means they're all closey closey 

im just saying that the pic needs to be put up there 

cuz it is byooteefull