Have You Seen This Girl

Chapter 43 Stupid Mistake

Chapter 43

Jillian’s POV

Habang nasa sasakyan kami ay hindi ako mapalagay. Ang daming bagay na tumatakbo sa isip ko. Dinaan ko na lang sa pagbibilang ng sasakyan ang boredom. But of course, that didn’t help that much. Naglaro na ako sa cellphone ko para lang masabi na busy ako, pero wala pa rin. Nakakamatay ang pagiging stagnant ko. I feel so tamed and I hate it! Wala akong madaldal. Ayaw ko namang mag-feeling close kay Jazz. First, ang plastic ko kapag ganoon. Second, I’m still hurt. Third, nakaka-intimidate ang presence niya. Fourth, okay, nothing follows after that.

I could practically enumerate the good things about her. She’s tall, yep, she is. Kaya nga siya naging model, eh. Plus, the face. The oh-so-drop-dead-gorgeous face, to die for look, to be exact. She’s so pretty and it hurts because I felt a twinge of jealousy inside this sore heart.

Every guy would worship this goddess, I bet. Tss. Bakit ba ganito ang nararamdaman ko? Ang sakit. The mere fact that I’m just looking is hurtful already. I just wish mayroon talaga akong imaginary friend para mayroon akong mapaglabasan ng mga pinaglalaban ko sa buhay. I can’t talk to Mitch because she would just nag me about her inherent aptitudes.

Even though I’m looking at the window pane, I could still see her from my peripheral view. What should I do to shove this boredom? Good heavens, I’m dying because of too much quietness!

Thirty minutes did it! Medyo nakaidlip naman ako sa biyahe. She didn’t care, though, because all those times, she was just talking to the driver. Siya na ang friendly. Siya na ang center of attraction. Siya na ang lahat.

Pagdating namin sa bahay ni Nick, agad akong bumaba. Paglabas ko ay huminga ako ng malalim. This is it. Wala ng urungan. Matapang ako, ‘di ba? Mali, dapat maging matapang ako. Tama. Iyon nga ‘yun. Tss. As if I have a choice. I’ll see him, whether I like it or not. That’s how rude life is.

Dumaan kami sa harapan ng bahay nila. At least ngayon ay wala ng kaba sa puso ko, unlike the first time I went here. Nick had his knack in scaring me. I really thought we’re trespassing back then.

Pagpasok ay binati kami agad ng kasamahan nila sa bahay. “Hello po, Ma’am,” aniya.

Ngumiti ako. “Hello din po,” magalang na sagot ko. Halos mabasag ang boses ko sa pagsagot ko kanina. Ang weird. Kinakabahan ako ng sobra. Parang hindi ako makahinga. Literal.

As soon as we reached the living room, I was shattered. All at once. But I didn’t show any change of emotion. Kahit sa loob-loob ko ay nadudurog na ako.

I was still able to compose myself. I have to, anyway. Kahit na nakita ko ang picture ni Nick at Jazz. Nakangiti sila at nakaakbay pa si Nick sa kaniya. Hard. That was a blow. But I don’t know why, there’s this little voice telling me that that was actually good news. At least, kung sila talaga ni Jazz, meaning to say, wala ng chance si Cyrus sa kaniya. Ako na ang end game.

Nasapok ko ang sarili ko. Anong klaseng pag-iisip ba ‘to? Imbis na maawa ako kay Nick at Cyrus dahil torn sila sa isang sitwasyon na kailangan may isa sa kanila na piliin, heto ako at nagdidiwang. Ang sama ko naman yata.