Have You Seen This Girl

Chapter 57 Imagination

Chapter 57

Jillian’s POV

After few more sessions, we’ve seen that the kids have already improved on their skills. They also gained a lot of confidence. It’s evident on the way they deliver each line.

I took a break and sat down. Nick was right beside me. He smiled when our eyes met. I smiled back and focused my eyes on the kids.

Matagal akong naging aloof dahil nag-enjoy ako sa pagmamasid. “Ang cute nila, ‘di ba?” I said out of the blue. I just want to comment about how heart-melting their smiles are.

“Yup. They are,” he seconded. “It’s a shame that we only have little time to spend with them.”

“I know.” I was saddened by the idea of it. Here I go with my attachments issue. Madali kasi akong mapalagay sa mga tao. I get too comfortable with them to the point that it gets me into trouble. Whenever I have to say goodbye, I have to practically die first with the pain. It was never easy to leave or to be left behind. Goodbyes will always hurt.

“You’re too sold out with this thing, Jah. Bakit ganito na lang ‘yung passion mo for these kids?” he asked.

“There’s something so special about them. Maybe it’s their passion and their willingness to be corrected. Skill is given, eh. Pero mahirap i-work out ‘yung attitude, hindi natuturo ‘yun at iyon ang mayroon sila. They are teachable and they allow themselves to grow more. They’re so disciplined and they have the heart. Naniniwala ako na darating ang araw na ang mga batang ito na ang magiging pride ng music industry. Or, who knows? Maybe they can do better to whatever endeavor they will choose.”

“Your compassion’s from glory to glory. Wow.” He half-smiled.

I laughed heartily. “Iba kasi ‘yung attachment. Siguro dahil nararamdaman ko ‘yung mga pinagdadaanan nila. To tell you frankly, before, walang ibang naniniwala sa akin kung hindi ang pamilya ko. Lahat sila sinasabi na hindi ako magaling, na wala akong mararating. At mahirap ‘yung pakiramdam na walang nagtitiwala sa kakayahan mo. Sobrang nakaka-degrade ‘yun. At ‘yun ang ayaw kong maramdaman nila. Ayaw kong isipin nila na hindi sila magaling. Gusto kong iparamdam sa kanila na may mga tao na nagtitiwala sa kakayahan nila. Na may mga fans sila. Na may papalakpak sa kanila anu’t ano man ang mangyari. Lahat ng bagay na hindi ko naranasan noong bata ako ay gusto kong maramdaman nila.” Kinagat ko ang aking labi para pigilan ko ang sarili ko sa paghikbi. I’m filled with too much emotions now.

Pinunasan ko ang aking mga mata gamit ang kabilang bahagi ng aking palad. “Look at that kid,” I said. Pagkatapos ay tinuro ko ang batang kinausap ako kaninang umaga. He averted his eyes to where my finger’s pointed. “Sabi niya sa akin nawala ‘yung self-esteem niya kasi sinabihan siya ng trainer nila dati na lagi siyang wala sa tono. Sinisigawan daw sila palagi. At tuluyan nang nawalan ng gana sa kanila ‘yung nagtuturo dahil hindi naman daw sila magaling. Wala na daw silang pag-asa.” Nangingilid na ang mga luha ko. “And who in the world is he to tell them that? Walang kahit sinuman ang may karapatan na wasakin ang pangarap ng isang taong nagsusumikap. Naiinis ako sa taong ‘yun. Gusto ko siyang saktan pero wala na naman akong magagawa, eh. What’s said is said. The damage has been done. But I know I can do something to relive that passion and to keep the fire in their heart burning.” Suminghap ako. “Kaya gusto kong ibigay ang lahat ng mayroon ako. Let’s give them something they’ll always remember.”