Cooking Up A Storm - A Norman Reedus Fanfic Romance

Chapter 35 - Rocky Road

NORMAN

My bike just sort of steered its way to the airport.

Have no fucking idea how I made it there in one piece, to be honest. Cos I was shaking like a junkie going through withdrawal. And I still am.

I wasn't due to fly out to Vegas until early the next morning. To meet up with my buddy Balthazar and head off for a trip through Death Valley. My last Ride shoot before hitting the publicity trail again for my latest movie.

But I just couldn't go back to my place or even return to the restaurant. Couldn't do anything other than keep on the move. Whatever it took to stop thinking.

The problem is....I can't.

I park in my usual spot at a motorcycle shop next to the airport. Make a couple of calls then hitch a lift with one of the mechanics to the terminal.

There's a flight to Vegas in just over an hour and the airline is more than happy to change my ticket.

The production company are organising an earlier check-in at the hotel and a town car will meet me at McCarran once I land.

I wander outside to the smoker's courtyard and find a quiet spot. My butt collapsed onto the little brick wall that surrounds the garden.

And I sit there for a minute trying to get my breath back, as well as the strength in my legs.

As soon as Benny closed her door? I knew I didn't have a fucking snowflake's chance in hell of getting her to let me back in again. So I could tell her.

Try to explain how I'd let my insecurities get the better of me again. As well as my moronic, thoughtless fucking mouth.

Have to call her right now! Tell her that I didn't mean....would never  mean what I'd said.

Benny is the least selfish person I've ever met in my entire life! And there's no way....no fucking way  she'd even contemplate wanting a no-strings-attached....fling.

As usual, what was in my brain got lost in translation by the time it came out of my mouth. I didn't need any special body language abilities to decipher the look on her face at my shitty accusations.

Knew the hurt started when I was telling her about meeting with her Gran. As I heard my own explanations? The realisation hit me....of exactly how much I'd actually 'overshared'.

She was one hundred percent justified in her reaction. Could see her eyes almost turn black as her pain grew.

It should've only been Ben that I talked to and no one else!

Especially when I  was the one who told her that we should just be honest. And deal with things together  as they come up.

But noooo, you simply couldn't practice what you preached. Could you, Norman? Instead, you convinced yourself that Benny would stubbornly dig in her heels. If you began hinting that you couldn't wait any longer.

That you want more....so much more.

Pretended to yourself that if you made it a fait accompli, got everyone else on your side? That she'd become compliant and give in.

Just like....

Oh fuck....  😮

Just like a Stepford wife?

Hunching over, I groan in pain. Not from the thumping of my fists against my forehead but from the agony that's now clawing away at my insides.

Ben was right! She told me and I told her back. 'Don't change'  I'd said. Yet that's exactly what I tried forcing her to do.