Cooking Up A Storm - A Norman Reedus Fanfic Romance

Chapter 35 - Rocky Road

NORMAN

My bike just sort of steered its way to the airport.

Have no fucking idea how I made it there in one piece, to be honest. Cos I'm shaking like a junkie going through withdrawal.

I'm not due to fly out to Vegas until early the next morning. Am meeting up with my buddy Balthazar and we're going for a trip through Death Valley. My last Ride shoot before hitting the publicity trail again for my latest movie.

But I just can't go back to my place, can't even return to the restaurant. Can't do anything other than keep on the move. Whatever it takes to stop thinking.

The problem is....I can't.

I park in my usual spot at a bike shop next to the airport. Make a couple of calls then hitch a lift with one of the mechanics to the terminal.

There's a flight to Vegas in just over an hour and the airline is more than happy to change my ticket.

The production company are organising an earlier check-in at the hotel when I arrive. A town car will meet me at McCarran when I land.

I wander outside to the smoker's courtyard and find a quiet spot. My butt collapsed onto the little brick wall that surrounds the garden.

And I sit there for a minute trying to get my breath back, as well as the strength in my legs.

Soon as Benny closed her door? I knew I didn't have a fucking snowflake's chance in hell of getting her to let me back in again. So I can tell her.

Try to explain how I'd let my insecurities get the better of me again. As well as my stupid fucking mouth.

Have to ring her and ring her right now! Tell her that I didn't mean....will never  mean what I said.

Benny is the least selfish person I've ever met in my life! And there's no way....no fucking way  she'd even contemplate wanting a no-strings-attached....fling.

What was in my brain got lost in translation by the time it came out of my mouth. I didn't need any special body language abilities to decipher the look on her face at my shitty accusations.

Knew the hurt started when I was telling her about meeting with her Gran. As I heard my own explanation, the realisation hit me of exactly how much I'd actually 'overshared'.

Ben was one hundred percent justified in her reaction. Could see her eyes almost going black as her pain grew.

It should've been her that I talked to, no one else!

Especially when I'm  the one who told her that we should just be honest. Deal with things together  as they come up.

But noooo....you couldn't practice what you preached. Could you, Norman? Instead, you convinced yourself that Benny will stubbornly dig in her heels. If you start hinting that you can't wait any longer.

That you want more.

Pretended to yourself that if you make it a fait accompli, get everyone else on your side? That she'll become compliant and give in.

Just like....

....oh fuck....

....just like a Stepford wife?

Hunching over I groan in pain. Not from the thumping of my fists against my forehead but from the agony that's clawing away at my insides.

Ben was right!