I'm still afraid after everything. I'm still afraid that she lies to me. I'm afraid that she doesn't really love me. It gets the best of me sometimes. It controls me sometimes. Sometimes all I can do is cry. I see things and hear things that make me wonder if anything she says is even true. But it has to be true. Right? Because I love her. I'm afraid to lose her. I'm so afraid to lose her. I dont know what I'd do if I did. She's been my life for almost a year. No matter what other people there may have been, she was always my #1. She's the first girl I loved that I got to actually be with. She's my everything. I'm so afraid to loser her. Im so afraid that I'm not the one she loves. I'm afraid I made the wrong choices. I'm afraid shes lying. I hope shes not, and I dont think she is. But sometimes, it gets the best of me when I lie awake at night and cant sleep. Shes the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about before I go to bed. She's been the constant that I didnt know I needed. She stopped me from so many bad things, I'd be dead if I hadn't met her. I love her more than words can explain. She's made me into a better person. I'm in a place where I can actually help other people as well. I'm so much better than i was a year ago. She really did save me. I'm afraid of what I'll become if she leaves. Because I'm so bad without her. Even a day without her and I already go back to almost everything bad I did before. I love her so much. I love her.
