I dont want to go back to school.
I dont want to go pretending everything is fine because it isnt.
I don't want to take another breath.
I don't want to have one last kiss.
I don't want to look in the mirror.
I don't want to get up anymore.
I don't want to take a shower.
I don't want to stay here.
I don't want to fake being a girl to make my parents happy and in hopes that this is all a fucking phase.
I don't want to fear about what my life will be once i leave the house.
I don't want to worry about falling in love ever again.
I don't want to try.
I don't want to breathe.
I don't want to be a girl.
I don't want to be trans.
I don't want to be this way.
I want to be me
No matter how many surgeries
No matter how many hormones
No matter how many voice lessons
I will never be me.
I will never be the man i so desperately need to be. It's less of a want now. If i could be a girl and be fucking fine with it i would. I dont want this. I dont fucking want this and i cant fucking handle it. Its too fucking much. Im so fucking sick of being this way.
