It gets the best of me. The thoughts. They roam my head. I think too much. I think too much. I think about killing myself more and more often. I'd like to be happy for more than a day. All I feel is worried and lost. Lost in what I should do. Talk to her about it. Leave it and hope it goes away. Jusy leave. Kill yourself. So many thoughts. So many decisions. What is she doing. Is she using. Is she cheating. Why do you never shut up. Why does it never shut up. Why do you say the wrong things. Why are you like this. Why are you like this. Stop thinking. Please. I can't take these thoughts. They're gonna kill me. I just need to feel it again. Just again. Just one more time. Maybe 5 more times. Or maybe I'll never stop. It hurts. Thinking hurts. Because I can't stop. If only I could think and never speak. But I speak. I speak terrible things. I should've never spoken. I should've gone through with the plan. Why did. You. Have to. Stop me. I could've been ok. Everyone could've been great. Don't stop me. I dont want to be stopped. I want it to stop. I want it to stop. Please. Stop it.
