I don't understand. My feelings are all mixed up. I know I could do it. I know that. But it depends on why. Why could i do it. Who would help me with that. I know I can't ever fully do it unless I have help. I don't really want to do it either. I like where I am. I only wish it were closer. Or I was closer. Or I could trust it. It's very. Very. Confusing. I wish I could turn it all off as easily as I could a year ago. But I think everything is going ok. It's just my head.
