Me: yeah im really in love with my girlfriend. (I deadass am)
My head: yo turn off your feelings and fuck with people again lmao
Me: uhhh... but i dont want to hurt my gir-
My head: well yeah but like do it lol
Lmao i fuckin hate this side of me. I wasnt in a good place every single time ive dated anyone until i fell in love with my current girlfriend and im actually doing good??? I've never cheated on her in the 1 year that we've seen eachother (on n off of course)
And i hate that i did do that shit to my exs but my head is encouraging me to do it? I dont wanna be that person anymore. But i miss it, you know? It was an addiction. Playing people like that. I miss the drugs. I miss the alcohol. I miss the pain. But i dont know why its been getting worse. Ive almost. Just almost started again. I dont want to. I want to. I dont. Fuck. What is this?
