Raegan's Divulgence

Chapter 1

Nagkakanda ugaga ako sa pagta-type ng bagong issue na ilalabas ko sa website namin, bukas na kasi ang deadline nito.

May access ako sa website ng Pseudonym. Minsan sinesend ko lang ang mga gawa ko through email sa boss ko na kakuntyaba ko sa paninira sa mga personalidad na gusto naming bumagsak.

Well, I am proud to say that we successfully put them down.

--Masyado kasi akong nababad sa panonood. Sa YouTube ko na lang kasi pwedeng makita ang iilang clips while I am reporting some news on cam.

Aaminin kong namimiss ko iyon at gusto ko parin bumalik sa field ko kahit na may kababalaghan akong nagawa.

"Go back to your senses, Toni! Ano ba!" sigaw ko at tinapik tapik ng hindi naman ganoon kalakas ang aking pisngi.
"Gising, Toni, gising."

Natapos ko na ang article ko pero wala parin itong pamagat.

"Raegan's Divulgence."
I uttered those words while typing.

I stayed up all night hanggang sa mai-send ko na ang article ko. I feel so exhausted kaya sa harapan ng computer na ako nakatulog.

Kinabukasan, nakatanggap ako ng tawag mula kay Felix, my friend... I guess?

"Ano?" bungad ko sa kaniya habang abala ako sa pag ayos ng kurtina ng aking kwarto.

"Much better." wala sa sarili kong nausal.

"We will be throwing a big party tonight. Please be there...--"

"NO."
"No, Felix." tanggi ko.

"Antonia Nolan." he paused for couple of seconds.
"It's been four years since you came out beautiful in your cave. Sumama ka na."

Inikot ko ang aking mga mata.
"Would you mind giving me some time to think about that?"

"Antonia, you only have eight hours."

"I'm gonna pick you up at six." then he hung up the phone.

Hindi na ako ganoon naghanda dahil paniguradong hindi naman ako magtatagal doon. I'll just show my face to that Felix and leave, nang wala siyang masabi.

Kaya pagsapit ng ala sais, hindi parin ako nakaalis ng bahay dahil nagtatalo kami ni Felix nang dahil lang sa suot ko.

"You have to look gorgeous tonight, Toni."

"That doesn't matter. Hindi mo naman ako ipapakilala bilang girl friend mo." sabi ko at inikot ang aking mga mata.

"Because you don't want to be my girl friend."

Here we go again...

"Felix, y-you know why."

"Enrie again?" he quickly respond a question.

I shook my head.
"N-no, it's not about him. It's about your reputation, I don't wanna ruin it."

I'm actually ruining your whole family.

He smiled and suddenly pat my head.
"You're already twenty-nine years old, you are smart. I like you and it doesn't matter to me if the whole world saw you in bed with my cousin."

"Idiot." walang emosyon kong sabi.

"I'm serious, Toni. I don't care what other people say."

"Cut it off, Felix. Let's go." sabi ko at saka na naunang naglakad sa kaniya.

I don't wanna talk about his cousin and all the shit I made for the past four years. I've had enough, at nakakasuya na.

"Please fasten your seatbelt, my lads."

Pagdating namin sa venue, as expected all of their eyes are on me. Sino ba naman kasing nilalang rito sa Pilipinas ang hindi ako kilala?

"I'll go after saying hi to your mom." bulong ko kay Felix.

"Shut up." sabi nito at nginitian ang iilan nilang bisita.

Finally, kaharap na namin ang kaniyang ina.
A sour look coming from her mom makes me really wanna go home.

"Hi good evening, tita." yup, I managed to smile.

"Good evening." aniya at saka na ako tinalikuran.

Pinaupo niya ako vacant sit at binigyan ng inumin.

"No, I'm not going to drink. Tinigilan ko na." tanggi ko.

"Isang shot lang while you are waiting for me."

"What?" mabilis akong nag react.
"Where are you going? Are you leaving me here? ALONE?"

"Of course not, mag ha-Hi lang din ako sa nga friends ko over there. I'll be right back." then he left me with a glass of vodka.

Maingay ang paligid, may kaniya kaniya silang pinag uusapan, and I am hearing my name being mentioned on the other row.

"I know, she is the reporter na laos who had a sex tape with Enrie, you know, Viktoria's nephew."

Yeah right. Kahit na ako lang mag isa rito sa upuan, hearing those bunch of oldies talking behind my back makes me take the shot that Felix gave me.
Hindi ako nakuntento, I sip dozens of Vodka. Gusto ko na mawala ako sa sarili ko ngayon para hindi ko na rin marinig ang mga chismosang hilaw na nakapaligid sa akin.

From my seat, I saw a very familiar man standing on the other side.

"The bull shit Enrie is here?" ang sabi ko sa sarili ko.

"You are drunk."
Oh, it's Felix? I guess, it's Felix...

"Felix, why Enrie is here? I mean, given na kamaganak niyo siya. But, why you didn't tell me that he came back?"

Hindi ako nito sinagot at inagaw ang baso na hawak ko.
I let him.

"That asshole, he abandoned me and our child." iyon ang huli kong natatandaan bago ako mawalan ng malay.

I woke up with a stinky smell but at the same time, a scent of a toasted bread with butter is inviting me to get up.

Bumangon ako from my bed.

"Mom?"

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