Yours Truly

Chapter Forty Five: Serious Mommy Issues

“W-what?!” Flynn sputtered, taken aback by my outburst. Hell, I was just as shocked as he was. I touched my lips, surprised that they had uttered something that I had kept to myself for years.

“I-I’m so sorry!” I stammered. “I was just thinking about what happened when we were skating…” My voice trailed off and I watched my hands, studying every curve like I was an infant seeing their appendages for the first time.

“You were ice skating when it happened?” He asked quietly. I looked up to see we had parked in front of the crepe stand. I nodded and stood from the car. He followed me and we ordered and waited in silence. Flynn watched me intensely, waiting for me to continue with the story.

“I’ll tell you the rest in the car, okay?” Flynn apologized, seeming to realize that I had seen him staring at me. We piled back into the car ten minutes later, warm crepes in hand.

“I was seven at the time. Opal and I wanted to go ice skating Christmas morning.” I began.

“But there isn’t a lake in your backyard.” Flynn wondered aloud.

“There’s a lake nearby.” I answered. “Anyway, we knew our parents wouldn’t allow us to go if we asked them, so we decided to sneak out.” I laughed a dark laugh. “And Opal watched me skate. I was practicing a new routine. I made sure to stay away from the ice that didn’t look stable enough. But then my mom came out of the clearing, yelling and telling me to get off the ice. I panicked and skated over a loose section and it fell out right beneath me.” I took in a shaky breath. “And I was pulled under. I wasn’t wearing too many layers, but my skates were so heavy and they were dragging me down. I remember panicking as I tried to pull myself to the surface. My mom jumped in and pushed me out, but she was wearing several layers of clothing. She was able to get me out, but the weight from her clothes was bringing her down. She fell back and tried to come up, but wasn’t able to find the hole I fell through. And she drowned.”

I was still looking at my hands as a single tear fell down my cheek.

“Oh my God…” Flynn murmured. “I’m so sorry, Iris. I’m such an idiot.” I shook my head, looking into his eyes for the first time the entire car ride.

“It’s not your fault. You didn’t know…”My voice cracked and the hurt in Flynn’s eyes only became clearer.

“I still feel awful.” He said softly. I unsurely placed a kiss on his cheek.

“Please don’t. I had a lot of fun on the ice today with you.” I assured him. He gave me an unbelieving look. “No, really I did. I haven’t touched the ice since…well since that.”

“You wanna know a secret?” Flynn whispered, leaning his head on my shoulder.

“What?” I asked quietly.

“Well, I have two.”

“So, what are they?” He leaned forward and his lip brushed nonchalantly against mine.