Loki's Daughter Book 2

The end of a holiday

I look up as he enters my room. I watch him, tucking my feet up as I draw my knees towards my chest, as he sits at my feet. He reaches out and pulls out one of my earphones.

'What are you listening to?

'Music.'

He lifts the earphone to his ear and puts it in. I close my eyes and tip my head back letting the music drown me.

'Why is it so loud?'

'I like my music so loud so I can't hear my own thoughts.'

The earbud is pressed into my hand.

'Why those songs?'

'They say what I can't.'

I put in the other ear bud and let the lyrics flow over me.

I find it kind of funny. I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. I find it hard to tell you. I find it hard to take. When people run in circles. It's a very, very...mad world.

A cold hand wraps around my shoulder as an arm lifts my head up. Through slightly opened eyes I see my father sitting next to me. The song stops and the earphones disappear. I'm pulled towards my father as he holds me tightly.

'Can we not? We're on a holiday,' I murmur.

He sighs. 'Nope. There's something wrong with you and I want to help you.'

'There's nothing wrong with me. I don't need help. I'm fine. I managed to get by my whole life without any help. I don't want or need any help. Especially not from you,' I say jumping up and storming out of my bedroom. I sit on the deck floor gazing out over the water. My phone appears in my hands as my father gives it back.

'Raven please talk to someone. You're only hurting yourself.'

'I'm nineteen. It's too late.'

'Its not too late. Its never to late. And you and I live for hundreds of years.'

'No. I don't talk about my past for a reason. I make sure...made sure that no one ever knew...knows about my past. That they all saw me as this big bad monster. So, in a way I was setting up my future from an early age.'

'Why? Why didn't you tell someone...anyone? They could have helped you. They could have given you a life. They could have given you a chance to be a kid,' he says as he watches my memories. He finishes and I move away from him.

'I couldn't tell anyone. That would be...that would be soft of me.'

'Soft?' he scoffs. 'You could have been soft. You could have been saved. You could have a real life instead of this.'

'You don't understand. I never had a chance to be soft. I was always having to be...having to be bloody knuckles and shards of glass...I wanted people to be afraid of hurting me...but all it did was make people afraid of me and hurt me more.' He comes closer to me and I teleport back to my room. I hear him groan outside and shove the earphones back in and music up loud. Hours later I turn the sound down and hear his bedroom door shut. I shut mine and curl up on my bed playing my phone as my music continues to drown my thoughts out.

'Raven,' I sit up gasping until I get my surroundings. I'm in my bed with my father sitting at the end of my bed watching me worriedly. The light is on. I groan and begin rocking backwards and forwards. Nightmares. They just won't stop. Every night it's like this.

'Can we go back. Please?' I ask through silent tears.

'Raven,' he says my name again. I lift my head and look at him. He hesitates and looks away. 'Okay. We will go back tomorrow.'

I nod gratefully. He reaches out and rubs my arm.

'It's fine Raven. Everything is fine. It's all in the past,' he says as I feel him digging in my mind for my latest nightmare. I lie back down and just let myself sink into the bed. He hands me my earphones and phone and watches me as I put them in and turn my music up. He stays with me until I'm calm and relaxed.