Let Me (TAEGI)

Alone.

                                                ~Taehyung's P.O.V~  

           I woke up at seven thirty, I must have been really tired because I don't remember getting home or coming to my bed, but I get up quickly because Hyung must be hungry. When I walk out of the room I immediately smell meat and other types of food. I go to the kitchen and I find Hyung washing the dishes "I'm sorry, I didn't cook Hyung"  I can't describe the emotions written on Hyung's face at first relieve but now it's anger, is he angry because I didn't cook?

       "are you mad Hyung?"I must sound as worried as I am because his expression softens "go sit down" I do as he says and he begins to bring small plates of food to the table and when he is done he sits in front of me "eat" is all he says, I do as I'm told but he doesn't say anything usually we would ask each other stupid questions like 'What was the funniest way that you have been injured?' or 'What terrible movie do you love?' but today he isn't saying anything.

      I know this sounds stupid but I want to cry, could he really be this mad? he is because he is just glaring at me and I don't know how to make it better "Hyung I'm sorry" I say which causes him to stop eating and lean his head back into the air "I sorry, I won't forget again" I say but my voice breaks, he doesn't say anything  he just gets up I grab his hand before he walks away "I promise I won't forget" that just made him angrier but he was conflicted because his eyes went soft.

      "You don't remember anything?" he asks me, did I forget something else? is he going to give up on me, my eyes become blurred with tears, because I can't lose Hyung not just because he provides for me but because I don't want to lose him  I look down but he takes my cheeks between his hands "you fainted Taehyung,  and all I could do was sit there and wait for someone to tell me something" his voice also broke "you fucking scared me" he was angry but he was also worried.

        "I'm sorry" I say but a tear slips from his eye and I don't know if it's because he cares or because I'm mad at my self but I began to cry too, I feel his arms wrap around me " I told you to eat, why couldn't you just eat?" because a part of me didn't want to live but I couldn't say that.

     "because I felt lonely, because..I" because I think I was finally ready to give up, having Hyung around was bad because I kept thinking If I lose him then who do I have?  "because I don't want to be alone anymore" I say and his grip on me gets tighter "who told you I'm ever going to leave you?" he asked he was holding back tears, his breaths were uneven and his eyes were blurry too.

       We're now sitting in the couch and his eyes won't leave me "what are you so afraid of Taehyung?" He asks me, but If I tell him he'll think I'm broken and I don't want him to see me that way. Out of all people I don't wish for Hyung to see me this way but it just keeps happening ."I'm afraid you'll get tired of me, or that you won't want me anymore" he takes a deep breath and turns to face me. "Taehyung why would I ever leave you? You're not just my fake fiance you're my friend too"  but what happens after that? what happens after the wedding?

     " I know Hyung, but what happens after we get divorced?" his eyes leave me and are now focused on the couch "Divorce is a scary thought Tahyung, but I'll still be there for you, I'll be your friend or whatever you need me to be" I nod, and hope it's true. "and Taehyung?" he says "yeah?" he looks at me again and asks "what did you mean you feel alone, I'm here" but he isn't really he is always gone and when he is here all we do is clean, eat and sleep.

   "I know Hyung but the only time we talk is during dinner after that we both go our separate ways" I hope he doesn't think I'm being too needy "I'm sorry, I just thought that you would like privacy you had to change the way you live because of me, I didn't want to force you to hang out with me" he says which makes it sound like he is a burden but he isn't, I like talking to him. "Hyung, I like speaking with you, and I've been alone for a while I don't want to anymore".