In Loving Memory [A Marvel Cinematic Universe Fanfiction] *Discontinued*

I'm There

5 weeks later
After i (maybe) killed Peter, there was no way i could go near any of them ever again. And it had almost nothing to do withthe embarassment, but mire the guilt and fear that i'll do it again. I don't know when i get these visions, and Wanda is not as powerful as me, so she probably can't help me as much as i need it.
After half a day back in Scotland, i realized my necklace also had a tracker in it. It took all i had in me to take it off, but i couldn't have them finding me. Not when i could hurt them.
Never agian.
I couldn't stay in the city, or anywhere, really because everyone knew who i was. Everyone knew what i could do to them and what i've done. I knew they were terrified of me and would run away screaming and hiding from me.
Everyone but one person. The librarian. She helped me when i didn't have anywhere to go or anything to work with to survive. Mrs. Karlsson took me in and let me hide, because she knew who i was. She knew i would never do something like that on purpose.
And so did Peter.
...
"There was no other way"
"I dont feel so good"
"You're okay"
"I'm sorry"
"He did it"
Night after night, i hear all of these. I see them all. Every night, i see Peter. Night after night, i wake up with a tear stained pillow, shaking like a chihuahua. I even occasionally screamed when i woke up because it was just too much and i could not handle it.
Mrs. Karlsson used to come when i screamed, but she started having her doubts about me. Mainly about if i would hurt her because sometimes when i slept i accidentilly projected the nightmare into her mind and sometimes there would be objects floating around in the air, lighting up the room in a sharp, bright blue.
I didn't want to hurt her either. Or anyone. Ever again.
...
(Arguing with herself. Sides 1 and 2)
1.Don't do this. 2.But you have to, you'll hurt them if you don't. 1.But maybe if you learn to control your powers, you can. 2.No, no you have to do it. 1.No, i dont. Yes, you do. But maybe...maybe because you don't want to hurt them, it will be easier? 2.That does not mean anything. 1.But maybe it does. 2.But mayne it doesn't. 1.But you love them. 2.No i don't. 1.i think we do. 2.no. And even if we did, they don't. 1.maybe...maybe they do. 2.but should they? Do you want them to? 1.i don't...know 2.they shouldn't. You're a monster. 1.no- 2.yes. Your a monster who must be put down! We are! 1. No! Peter said i wasn't! He said he knew i wasn't and could never be. 2.he's just a kid. A 16 year old kid who would probably follow Tony Stark everywhere like a puppy. 1.but...he's...Peter. 2.right. He's Peter. You're going to hurt him if you haven't already killed him. And if you really did care for him, if you still do, you'd stay away. You'd stay away from everything, so you couldn't hurt anyone else. 1.i would. I should. 2. Yes, you should. 1.ye- No! No! I- i don't...i can't stay here! 2.then don't. You should stop making everyone suffer. Stop before you kill someone else. 1.i might not have killed him. 2.if you did, they wouldn't want you. They probably wouldn't want you nowb anyways since you hurt Peter. He definitly wouldn't want to. 1.i could explain! Surely they'd listen! They know how hard it is for me to control my powers. 2.they wouldnt listen. They would never want to listen to you. They probably want you dead, anyways. 1. No! I know they don't want me dead! If they did, i probably would be, already. 2. Maybe they are just too scared of you. 1. Maybe...but they stop anything that might endanger Earth. Anything. No matter the cost. 2.So you're saying they would have killed you already if they didn't want you. 1.exactly. 2.you know you are lying to yourself. 1.shut up. I have had enough of you-
And then i saw it. Everything that's happening. A man with long brown hair saying "Steve?", then turning to ash. King Tchalla trying to get one of his warriors up, then turning to dust. A tree-like being looking at a talking racoon, saying "i am groot". The racoon looks at him and says "no!" While a woman screams in the background. Wanda...sitting beside a dead Vision, looking up and just...turning to dust.
There was no way i could open my eyes.
A man with red goggles on the ground disintegrating, and a man in metal armor behind him shouting "Sam!".
Then i see an orange, even dustier and abandoned place. Then i see...Peter. Helping Tony up. An alien girl whispers "something's happening..." As she turns to dust. Another alien says "Quill?" As he turns to dust, too. Tony looks at another man and says "steady Quill". Who i assume is Quill looks at him and says "Oh man..." As he disappears like the others.
A familiar voice -- the one from the visions that said there was no other way -- said it again as he turned to dust.
"Mr. Stark?"
Peter. No...
"I don't feel so good."
And i realize i'm there. I'm in his head and reading his thoughts and feeling what he's feeling.
Peter... I tell him quietly, but he doesn't hear me. I've got tear streaming down my face, now.
"I dont know what's happening." He starts stumbling towards Tony because his feet are turning to ash, like the others. His is much slower than the others because he's trying to use his strength to fight it off. The same strength he used to lift a building off his back.
"I don't..." He crashes into Tony. "I don't wanna go" We're both crying now. "I don't wanna go. Please, Mr. Stark, i don't wanna go! I don't wanna..." Peter' body is crumbling into peices so much Tony can't jold him up. They are both terrified, and so am i. I'm hyperventilating, tears streaming down my cheeks. Icm yelling, but no one seems to hear me. Peter must be far far away, but i can still here him. And i can make him hear me.
Peter?! I ask, making sure he can hear me
Frankie? He thinks.
Peter...i'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
No,
"I'm sorry." He whispers, looking straight at Tony, but i know he's talking to me too.
I... I think, but i can't finish telling him because it's almost as if i've been kicked out, and i know why.
He's gone.