My Playboy

Thirty

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Chapter 30

Bomb

Loise

 

Days and nights passed and I feel absolutely empty. Yung parang gumagalaw at may daily routine ako pero walang buhay. Parang may kulang.

Umaga nang magising ako sa tunog ng cell phone ko- may tumatawag. Agad ko iyong kinuha nang hindi tinitignan ang caller ID.

“Hello..” sabi ko habang nakapikit. Wala naming sumasagot, “Hello!” naiinis na talaga ako. “Hello?! Try mo kayang sumagot?” at nang wala pa ring sumagot ay binaba ko na. Pinepeste niya ako ang aga aga.

At dahil wala na rin ako sa mood, tumayo na ako at naghilamos para kumain. Pagkatapos kong kumuha ng ilang slice ng tinapay at kape ay umakyat ako.

Dumiretso ako sa working table ko para mag-drawing ng mga designs. Sinimulan kong buklatin yung sketch pad ko at may isang drawing dun na hindi ko inaasahang makita.

Yung nandun kami ni Chip sa building nila, sa rooftop. Sa sobrang saya ko pala nung gabing ‘yun eh nai-drawing ko pala ‘to.

(Play the multimedia)

♪ You turn, and I learned that the wall comes falling down

Not a word, only hurt when my friends can tell me now

I feel loved when I see your face

But all these scars, I can't replace

Shock me high

Hit me hard, and I don't know what you say

Nung gabing ‘yun, ramdam ko naman talaga na napasaya ko siya. Hindi ko naman nakita agad na hanggang dun lang pala ang magagawa ko para sa kanya. Ni wala pa nga akong nasisimulan, natapos na agad. Ba’t ganun ka-unfair? Martin, ‘yung mga iniwan mong scars dito sa puso ko, nandito pa rin. Bakit ganun?

When you knock on my door

And tell me you don't wanna fight

Oh, baby I'm sure that I'm not gonna fall this time

Alam mo bang mahal pa rin kita? Peste nga eh, nandito pa din ‘yung pagmamahal ko sa’yo samantalang sinampal mo naman na sa mukha ko na nagustuhan mo nga ako, bilang kapatid naman. Ni hindi pa umabot sa pagmamahal yung pagkagusto mo.

You never brought me flowers

Never held me in my darkest hours

And you left it so late that my heart feels nothing nothing in towers

Once we were made like towers

Everything could've been ours

But you left it too late now my heart feels nothing nothing at all

Maraming araw na yung lumipas pero walang araw na nagdaan na nakalimutan kita. Mahal pa din kita, Chippy Martin..

It's a shame

You're to blame

'Cause once you owned my heart

I remember feeling so high

But I'm right back at the start

Nasa sayo pa rin yung puso ko. Kelan mo balak ibalik? Kasi kailangan ko ng i-repair yan eh. Sinira mo na kase. Kailangan ko nang mag-move on.. Kailangan na kitang kalimutan. Kailangan.                                                 

I still feel loved when I see your face

But all these tears I can't erase

Sorry heart, I'm sorry heart

But we'll have to start again

Pero hindi ko magawa kahit kailangan eh. Iisipin ko palang na kakalimutan kita, hindi na tinatanggap ng Sistema ko. Bakit mas mahirap kang kalimutan?

So don't knock on my door and tell me you don't wanna fight

'Cause I heard it before

And I'm not going back this time

Not going back this time

Tinitignan ko lang yung drawing ko, ramdam ko naman na yung pagpatak ng luha ko. Ramdam ko na kanina pa ko umiiyak. Umiiyak nanaman ako.

You never brought me flowers

Never held me in my darkest hours

And you left it so late that my heart feels nothing nothing in towers

Once we were made like towers

Everything could've been ours

But you left it too late now my heart feels nothing nothing at all (oh oh oh)

Ang unfair.. Ni wala man lang siyang iniwan sa’kin. Pati yung puso ko kinuha niya, winasak nga lang niya.

Nothing at all (oh oh oh)

When you're close I wanna change my mind

But I remember you and what we're like

I don't wanna let you waste my time

Heart, paano ba natin siya kakalimutan? Ha? Pa’no ba? Nahihirapan ka na din, ‘di ba?

And you never brought me flowers

Never held me in my darkest hours

And you left it so late that my heart feels nothing nothing at all

Sapat na ‘yung maramdaman natin na naging sweet siya, okay ba ‘yun, ha heart? Nababaliw na talaga ako.

Once we were made like towers

Everything could've been ours

But you left it too late now my heart feels nothing nothing at all

Pati ‘yung puso ko kinakausap ko na.. Ang hirap kasi. ‘Yung memories at feelings ang dahilan kung bakit ako nasasaktan..

Nothing at all

Nothing at all

Chip Martin Fonteverde, wala ba talaga? Wala ka ba talagang masusukli man lang, kahit 5 percent lang. Ako na bahalang magpalago.

Once we were built like towers

Nothing at all

We were built like towers

Now my heart feels nothing at all ♪

I’m sorry, heart. Dapat na yata tayong tumigil..

Pinunasan ko yung mga luha ko at sa huling pagkakataon, tinignan ko yung drawing. Crinumple ko iyon at tinapon. Palabas na sana ako ng pinto nang makarinig ako ng may nag-uusap.

“Siguro tama ka nga, naging selfish ako. I should apologize to my sister, ako ang may kasalanan kung bakit siya malungkot these past few days..” narinig kong sabi ni kuya. May kausap yata siya sa cellphone. Hindi naman dapat ako makikinig kaso, nabanggit ako eh.. at nagulat ako sa sinabi niya dahilan kung bakit tumulo nanaman yung luha ko.

“I threatened Chip. I told him to back off and stay away from my sister. He’s about to break the Bro Code.”

My brother dropped the bomb that explodes right in front of me. It hurts like hell.