Joanne ~ Back in time

Chapter 49~ Not another one

{Joe's POV}

Another week passed it was the second Saturday that Dianne wasn't here. The second week that Dianne wasn't by my side. The second week I didn't go to school. The second week that I was broken alone and confused. What have I done? And how the hell can I fix this? I've tried looking in all the places Dianne could be I checked her old house, the parks around the area, every street she could walk down she was nowhere to be found, I felt like calling the police and telling them she's missing but I called Adisha and she told me not to. She said Dianne will be fine and if she wants to be found she'll come back or make it obvious where she is and if she doesn't then she'll stay away. I just wish I knew for definite if she was okay. It might give me the closure I need. Who am I kidding I don't need closure I need Dianne. My phone starts ringing. I frantically search for my phone to pick it up and see it's only Zoe.

J-"Hey Zo what's up"
Z-"What's wrong with you why haven't you gone to school"
J-"I just haven't"
Z-"That's not an answer"
J-"..."
Z-"Pass me to Dianne I'm sure she knows why"
J-"I can't"
Z-"What Joe just pass me to Dianne for god sake"
J-"I CAN'T Dianne is not here she left"
Z-"..."
J-"Zo Di's gone, she's gone, I pushed her away and now I'm never gonna get her back, she was pregnant as well, she's out there with my baby and because I got scared and thought I'd be letting our parents down I got mad and wouldn't talk to her, she's alone because of me Zo it's all my fault"
Z-"Joe I'm- I'm... so sorry"
J-"Don't be its all my fault I don't deserve sympathy or any sort of sorry all I know is I need to fix it but I don't know how... I don't know how"

As I realised that I didn't know what I was going to do, as I realised that I didn't know how to fix it, as I realised I have well and truly messed up tears fell from my face. Tears of frustration, loneliness and sadness. I always used to tell Dianne that I loved her and would do anything for her and I was so sure of that but I guess the hard times throw me off and in those hard times, I'm not sure of anything. Well, in this case, I'm sure of one thing and that is I want Dianne back. When I look back on everything, my life, everything I realise that the only thing I was ever sure about was Dianne and everything about her, for example, Macklynn and Eponiné. When you really do love someone you'd rather die than hurt them. I suppose that sayings true because I feel pretty dead right now. I feel empty almost as if nothing around me is real as if it's all just a dream. I really wish everything I thing I did and how I acted was all just a really horrible nightmare and God I wish it'd be over soon. I said goodbye to Zoe on the phone.

Warm, cosy and happy is how the room is; I'm in this room yet I feel cold, empty and sad. I feel like a piece of china on the edge of the table; swaying side to side waiting to fall off. You have no idea when your gonna break, when your gonna fall. But you know it's coming because it's obvious there's only one way out of the unknown and the feared and that's falling. You fall because if you didn't fall you can and could never rise. And rising well that's the best part about life. Rising above all else, rising above the drama, rising above emotions, rising above people and their opinions; rising it's amazing. The whole concept is perplexing but the only thing you need to know about it is that it feels bloody good.

It was the late afternoon and there was a knock at the door. Every time my phone buzzes or someone knocks at the door I have my fingers crossed that it's Dianne. I hope that when it's my time to rise, I rise with Dianne by my side. I opened the door and Zoe, Alfie and all my friends including my ex-friend Caspar came walking on in. I pulled Zoe aside quickly.
J-"Did you tell everyone what we talked about"
Z-"I told everyone that she left and I didn't say anything more"
J-"Good"

Zoe walked into the living room to join the rest of them. They all just looked at me as if they wanted me to start speaking. I don't know what they want me to say however I do know what I want and that is for them to leave.

J-"You all need to leave"
Z-"Joe were trying to help"
J-"Well your not so go"
C-"Come on mate"
J-"Your not my mate not since you did what you did to Dianne"
C-"Well she's gone now"

I shook my head in disbelief at what Caspar had just said. Byron then chipped in.

B-"Bro they'll be other girls"
J-"No there won't"
C-"Yes there will"
J-"NO THERE WON'T... Look you meet thousands of people in your life and none of them really ever have a significant impact or touch you so much that they change your life forever and you feel so strongly about them almost like your gonna break down without them but then you meet that one person that changes your life forever they give you love and happiness and all the perfect and beautiful emotions in between... Dianne was that person so no there's not going to be other girls"
Z-"Joe"
J-"No, none of you clearly know what love is because when you truly love someone you'd rather die than hurt them so no I will not come back to school, no I will not talk to you, no I will not act like normal because I feel dead and I felt dead when I was hurting Dianne by ignoring her please... please just go"
Z-"But-"
J-"Zoe please... just go"

They all slowly wandered out. Zoe looked back, I just looked at her with a straight face until she carried on walking. I don't need help, I don't want help all I want and need is Dianne and somehow I don't think she's coming back anytime soon.

{Dianne's POV}

I was alone. Joe is probably with some other girl by now. Maybe he never cared about me and the girls? Maybe it was all just some sick joke? I love Joe and I will never stop loving him whether it was all a sick joke or not he really did change mine and the girls' lives for the better. I wish I could guarantee he was going to be here for this little girls life as well. I mean I don't know if the baby is a girl or boy yet, but I have a strong feeling it's a girl. I stopped feeling sick today, I've had pretty bad morning sickness since the start but this morning I didn't have any, my back has also been hurting a little the past two days. I wish Joe was here to help me and also so I knew this little one was gonna have a dad.

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Check out my other Joanne stories:
•The Wedding Planner
•Strictly Love