Joanne ~ Back in time

Chapter 50~Torn

{Joe's POV}

Time passed slowly. It was the third Sunday without Dianne. I haven't heard anything from her. I feel so helpless. I'm sat here doing nothing much to get her back yet I want her back so bad. I have no idea what I need to do I've searched for her I've left many many messages for her. Our relationship is in Dianne's hands. Yes, we broke up but if she feels anything like I do then she would wish we'd never broken up in the first place.

My phone buzzed and Grant the girls' foster dad is calling me.

J-"Hello"
G-"Hi sorry to bother you but Macklynn has run away and we've got a feeling she's heading your way"
J-"Okay I'll keep an eye out for here, I'll text you if I see her"
G-"Okay Thanks Joe"
J-"No problem bye"
G-"Bye"

Just as our phone call ended the door flew open and Macklynn came running in.

M-"DAD, JOE"
J-"Macklynn"

Macklynn ran into my arms. We both fell to the floor; Macklynn was in tears.

M-"Why didn't Dianne come and get us, we were supposed to surprise you"
J-"I know I'm so sorry"
M-"She's gone"
J-"Yes she has and I'm so sorry"
M-"She promised she wouldn't leave us, she said she'd protect us she said she'd protect us dad"
J-"And she has your not in danger and mum made sure of that before she left"
M-"How do you know that"
J-"Because I know your mum"
M-"Why did she leave... TELL ME WHY DAD"
J-"Because of me"
M-"WHAT DID YOU DO"
J-"I-I"
M-"DID YOU HIT HER"
J-"NO, no I wouldn't dream of ever doing that, I-I ignored her and when we spoke I was rude and said some horrible things"

Macklynn pushed herself back along the floor so her back was against the wall. She looked down then looked back up at me with tears streaming down her face.

M-"You know being ignored by the person who's opinions you care about most can have the same effect as physical pain"
J-"I know"
M-"You still love her though don't you"
J-"Of course I do... how did you know"
M-"If you didn't love her you wouldn't be in this much pain... you look really rough"
J-"Thanks"
M-"You don't look good at all"
J-"Your really good at giving compliments aren't you"

Macklynn chuckled just like Dianne.

M-"You know if you love someone and you let them go you'll find out whether they love you"
J-"How"
M-"If someone truly loves you they'll come back"
J-"Your very knowledgable aren't you"
M-"Yeah"

We both laughed.

J-"I feel so helpless I've searched for Dianne everywhere around here, I've left her so many messages"
M-"That shows you care though all those messages"
J-"Yeah?"
M-"Yeah"
J-"I just don't want Dianne to be annoyed or frustrated with me for sending so many messages"
M-"Being annoyed or frustrated with someone is a personal problem  it's not the person's fault you're frustrated with them"
J-"So if I call Dianne a million times it's not my fault if she gets annoyed"
M-"Well no because you're just trying to show her that you love her and if she gets annoyed well that's her problem, not yours, she just gets easily annoyed"
J-"We both know though that Dianne doesn't get easily annoyed"
M-"No she doesn't so if she does get annoyed well it's still her problem but you are also overdoing it a bit"

We both laughed again. It was an empty laugh it wasn't filled with happiness it's was just noise because we both know something funny had been said.

J-"Come on I should take you back"
M-"Okay I hope mum comes back"
J-"I hope she does to"

On the ride back to her foster parents' house we were sharing funny stories of Dianne and all the memories we have of her. Well, I didn't tell Macklynn them all because that we be inappropriate but yeah. Sharing memories about it person is something you'd do when there dead yet Dianne's not dead at least I hope she isn't. What if she's dead? No, no, no what am I doing I have to keep the faith and not think like that.

Anyway, I was debating on whether to go to school on Monday but I decided against it since I don't think I could face anyone yet not without Dianne by my side anyway. So Monday ended up being another silent, mournful day. This would be the fourth week without Dianne that also means that this Friday is the first week back of the dance competition after the break which Dianne and I would get disqualified in because we won't be on stage. I debated going in on Tuesday then I realised the number of horrendous lessons I had and firmly opposed. I would have had History, French, Pe, Science and maths. Thank god I didn't go. On Tuesday night I debated on going in on Wednesday. I mean the lessons aren't bad I have Art, English and many lessons of music. You know what I will go in. Music will break the day up and anyway it'll be a three day week for me so it's not that bad.
...

I didn't go back on my word I am at school and have made it through Art and English and even two of the lessons of music. I didn't go to break or lunch today I just stayed in the music studio I really couldn't bare facing everyone. I was on my own in one of the music studios and found my self playing my guitar whilst singing Torn.

Mr L-"You haven't lost your talent"
J-"No just my heart"
Mr L-"Ooo deep"
J-"..."
Mr L-"What happened where is she"
J-"I got her pregnant"
Mr L-"Oh"
J-"That's not it"
Mr L-"carry on"
J-"We were together when we found out and at first I was just a little scared but I was okay because I was going to have the child with Dianne so it'd be fine because we're invincible but I continued thinking about it and I started to think about my parents and what they would think and I thought they would be so angry with me and think that I have let them down and every time I looked at Dianne my head went to those thoughts so I ignored her and if she walked into a room I'd walk straight out of it. Anyway we talked eventually and when we did she asked what we were going to do and I said we this is your problem, not mine figure it out"
Mr L-"That's not a good thing to say"
J-"I know so we woke up on Monday and didn't talk at all until we left which is when we had a very emotional argument and she ended up telling me that she's leaving so I said are we breaking up and she said yeah"

Tears began to pour down my face.

J-"I've lost her and in a few months there will be a child running around on this planet that's mine and it's gonna have no clue who I am even though I'm it's dad"
Mr L-"It's gonna be okay"
J-"Everyone keeps saying that but it's not it been weeks I've looked for her I've sent her many messages and voicemails she doesn't want me back, she doesn't need me"
Mr L-"You know I thought you guys were invincible too"
J-"We are together but I let her be on her own and yeah she's so strong mentally and physically but I was a d*ck to her and that must of hurt. She thought she could trust me and rely on me the most out of everyone but she couldn't because I broke my promises"

I don't know if school makes me feel better or worse at this point I just want to be at home. When I got back I dumped my bags at the bottom of the stairs before I sat down on them myself. I put my head in my hands. I was feeling so many emotions. I was just confused. There was a knock at the door. It's probably Zoe or maybe Macklynn ran away again. I walk up to it casually my face red and my cheeks tear-stained. I opened the door.

J-"Dianne..."

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Check out my other Joanne stories:
•The Wedding Planner
•Strictly Love