200 Calories - Randy - Book 1

Chapter 4: Page 2

(Big Trigger Warning, if you are in any way sensitive to the topic of self-harm or suicidal thoughts then please don't read this, just skip to the next page. Read at your own risk. Love you all xx)

Andy's pov

I woke up at like 4 pm. I looked around but saw no Rye. "Rye" I called out but no answer. I got up and walked over to my shelf and saw a note. (What Rye wrote in the last chapter) I started to cry because I knew it was my fault he had gone even though he said it wasn't. I walked downstairs to see mum watching tv. "Oh hello, Andy," She said and patted her seat. I walked over and sat next to her. "Rye's gone, and it's my fault" I sobbed into her shoulder. "Oh Andy I'm sure he only needed a few days to himself," She said.

I showed her the note. "See, he said it's not your fault" She smiled. "I know but I told him I saw the cuts and he leaves, it is my fault," I say. I just wanted him back, I just wanted to take it all back.

Rye's pov

I arrived at the cabin, it took 4 hours to get here.

(His Cabin)

I got my stuff and walked inside. I unpacked my things and then lay down on the bed. I was so tired but I couldn't sleep. I was missing Andy already but I knew it was for the best. My eyes started closing so I just decided to have a little nap. So my eyes won and I fell asleep.

I woke up when It was dark outside. I looked at the time and It was 8 pm. Damn, I slept for ages. I got up and checked my phone, there were so many missed calls and messages from Andy.

A- Rye

A- Rye

A- Rye

A- Rye please message me

A- Please

A- I'm so worried

A- PLEASE RYAN PLEASE ANSWER ME PLEASE

A- Please

Damn it, what have I done.

R- Baby I'm fine, I was just tired so I had a nap. I'm safe okay

A- Oh thank god, where are you

R- At my family's cabin, its beautiful here

A- I miss you already, please come home, I need you

R- Andy baby, you know we both need this

A- I don't, I want you here, with me

R- I will come home on Friday, it's only 5 days

A- Promise

R- Promise

A- Okay, Mum said it's time for dinner so I have to go

R- Sure baby, ttyl

A- Bye

R- Bye baby

That went better than I expected. I was hungry too so I walked downstairs and started to just make pasta. Once it was done I sat down to watch tv and eat dinner. It was so quiet here but a good kind of quiet. After watching tv, I just decided to have a shower. I turned on the shower and changed out of clothes. I stepped in and I immediately felt relaxed.

I let the hot water run down my body, making me feel like I was floating. I washed my body and got out, drying off and changing into come joggers and a t-shirt because it was pretty cold. I got into bed and turned on the tv, it was cold without Andy. I wanted him here. I felt like getting in the car and driving home, But I knew I needed to stay here.

I thought being here would help but it doesn't. I started getting all these thoughts in my head about cutting and bad things. I wanted to hear Andy's voice. I got my phone and dialed his number, it rang a few times but he didn't answer. I threw my phone and it smashed. I was so annoyed that I couldn't control myself. I ran to my kitchen and grabbed a knife. I didn't want to do this but something in my head made me. I put it to my arm and sliced through. I screamed In pain and almost dropped the knife but I didn't, and I kept going. 

I made 3 more, I was bleeding quite quickly. "Shit" I mumbled under my breath. I went to the bathroom, blood dripping on the floor. I got a bandage and wrapped it around my arm. It kinda slowed the bleeding but it's not stopped. I needed help. I remembered I smashed my phone. "Fuck!" I yelled and ran out to my car, I tried to turn it on but it wasn't turning on. It was like what happens in the movies. I screamed and ran out of my car and into the woods.

I wasn't thinking clearly, I just kept running hoping I would die quickly instead of suffering. I tripped over a rock and started rolling down the hill. I was stopped when I hit my head on a rock. I groaned and stood up, I was so dizzy and I tried to look around for anyone or anything that I recognized. But nothing. I was lost.

I sat down on the rock that I hit my head on and cried into my arm. What had I done? I needed to be here for Andy, to help him get through the things he was going through. But instead, I cut myself and am slowly bleeding out, in the middle of a forest and I have no clue where I am.

I am so stupid. Why did I do this to myself? I tried to stand up but my head hurt so I sat back down. I groaned and started to plan what I was going to do. I started to think about Andy, and how I'm such a fuck up. "UHHHHHHHHH" I screamed hoping somebody would hear me, but nobody came. I tried to get up again but I felt so dizzy. I fell so I started to crawl. I crawled and crawled and crawled trying to find somewhere where I could at least sleep for the night.

I found a little tree, it had some leaves on the ground under it so I made a bed, I lay down and just...cried. I cried because I'm an idiot, I cried because I miss Andy, I cried because I am cold and I cried because I just want to go home. I am so cold. I can't stop shivering, I want to go home and I want to be in bed with Andy, asleep and warm.

It's the middle of winter so It's freezing, I can feel my body going into shock, I know it's dangerous to be out here at this tempter and if I go to sleep, I might not wake up. But I can't help but feel my body shut down, my eyes get heavy and feeling myself drift off. I try to fight it, but it's too much energy. I just let it take over me and I hope I die quickly.

1210 Words !!!

Okay, don't kill me lol. I know this is sad and it will be for a few chapters but if you wanna see what happens to Rye, then just keep reading.

See ya on the flip side <3

Greer xx