200 Calories - Randy - Book 1

Chapter 8: Page 2

(Trigger warning, lots of talk of weight and appearance , also self harm scene. Please stay safe and talk to somebody you trust if you are struggling xx)

Andy's pov

I was not having a very good day. Rye had no school today, so he was with me since 8am this morning. Its now 10am and I have already ate 2 pieces of toast for breakfast. It sucked but I only did it for Rye. "Baby you okay?" Rye broke me out of my trance. "Um, yeah I was just thinking" I said and he nodded.

Its now time for weigh in, if I have put on 3kg then I can go home, I hope I did because I have worked so flipping hard. My name was called next, the boy in front of me was cleared to go home, I'm happy for him. I slowly stood on the scales, only me and Jack in the room. My breathing was heavy as I saw the scales go up. It soon landed on 58.1 kg. My heart broke. "Sorry Andy but you have only put on 1.8 kg, maybe in a few days" Jack says. I nodded and walked but when I got past the doors I started crying and ran to the closet bathroom, I heard Rye yelling from the end of the hall but I didn't listen and locked the door, sliding down the wall.

"Baby, hey its okay, please don't do it" I heard Rye banging on the door. I kept crying and leaning on the wall. "Andy please just talk to me, its okay I promise nobody is mad just please come out" Rye said, sounding like he was gonna cry. After a few minutes of him talking to me, I got up and unlocked the door. It was shoved open and he picked me up, I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. He checked the toilet quickly and when he found nothing, he took me back to my room. On the way back, I was still sobbing into his shoulder, we passed Brook and he gave me a 'sorry' look.

When we got to my room he lay me down, then lay next to me not once leaving my side. "I'm a failure" I said, emotionlessly. "Don't ever speak like that again, your not a failure, your Andy Fowler, you have an eating disorder yes, but at the end of the day your only human so give yourself a break" Rye spoke. "Why are you even with me" I asked, looking at the wall. "Because I love you" He replied. "But why, I can never do anything right, I hurt you all the time and you just come back, I make you feel like shit and talk to you like that but you always stay...Why?" I asked, a tear falling but I wiped it up straight after.

"Why do you love me then?" He asked, "What?" I questioned very confused. "Why do you stay with me, the broken boy who cuts himself" He spoke. "That's diff-" I was cut off. "How is it different, its no different Andy, I love you for the same reasons you love me now can we move on or will I have to fucking propose to you right here to show you I love you?" He asked. I smiled, "Maybe not yet as we are only 17" I smiled and turned back to him. "Your not a failure Andy, your not perfect, nobody is so will you stop feeling like this" He smiled, I looked down. "I tried so hard though, I don't know how much more I can do Rye" I said, tears escaping me eyes. "Baby please, your so strong, you can do it, maybe you will even get there tonight" Rye said. I nodded and I sat up. "Can we go and get a snack?" I asked. His face lighted up and he quickly picked me up and ran with me out to the kitchen, me laughing my face off.

"Brook!" Rye yelled. He came running over. "Andy said he is hungry and wants a snack" Rye smiled. "Oh wow, sure" Brook smiled and Rye grabbed me something. it was a sandwich, it had peanut butter and jam (Jelly if your not from NZ or Australia or the UK I think) and passed it to me. He also had one so I didn't feel pressure. We sat down and I started to eat it. Yes I was a little scared and nervous but I just did it... till it was gone.

"Yay Andy!!" Rye yelled and did a back flip. My eyes went wide. "I didn't know you could back flip" I said and smiled. "Yeah, I do free running" Rye smiled. I looked down. "What's wrong baby?" Rye asked. "Its just... That's another thing you can do that's cool but I can't" I answered and he smirked. "Do you want me to teach you?" He asked. I looked up with a smile. "Yeah" I replied and he nodded. "Fine then, when you get out of here, we will first buy a trampoline and then we will do some" He smiled. I kissed him and we walked outside to the garden. "Can you just back flip where ever you are?" I asked. "yeah Look" Rye replied and just did a back flip. It was so cool.