Shielding (Todoroki x reader)

36~ Hide it

(Y/n's P.O.V)

How thick is his skull? Doesn't he realize what I've been through since he decided to act like a jerk? "Yeah. We haven't. I thought you knew why." I snipped, feeling my walls go up again. "Well, I don't. Mind telling me?" He replied, his voice also tensing up. "You left me. You left me alone. You promised you wouldn't." I said, trying not to crack any sign of emotion. "What? Well, you can't expect me to be at home all-" "No, Keigo. You don't understand. You promised we'd always be friends. You promised that you'd always be there for me. Apparently I was stupid for ever believing anyone could actually promise me anything. As soon as you got into UA, you were the special one. You got all the attention, and I was either ignored or told that I wasn't good enough. You acted like a jerk about it! I mean, you think I'm the pretentious one? Take a look at yourself from high school. And the second you become a pro, you just left. For months, Keigo." I interrupted, and my anger was on the verge of spilling over. "Well, I started coming back. You have to understand, (Y/n)-" He scrambled over his words, and I interrupted again 

"What is there to understand, Keigo? I don't know what happened that was so important, but I sure hope it was good. I just would've loved to have a big brother to look up to, some who I could've said 'Oh, look, he's so cool! My big brother's a pro hero!' and all that other bullshit. I wanted someone to be proud of me, someone I could be proud of back, but instead I just had you. Some flaky asshole of a human who once he did finally come back and show his face at home, refused to talk to me for another few months for literally no reason other than his head was too far up his ass!" I shouted at the end, feeling anger spill over, and my feathers start to bristle like a cat's fur. A voice in my head whispered "That's right. Use that anger. You could kill him right here and now. Give him what he deserves for everything he put you through." I stopped in shock, and stumbled backward. I scrambled away from Keigo and and softened my feathers. "Keigo, I think you should leave." "But-" "Just- just get out of here." I demanded, my throat closing up in fear, memories from the ally flooding back, and in my head I started screaming to drown out the voice. He looked frustrated, then picked up the garbage and left the room, half a bag of konpeito on the floor where we sat. I sent a feather and closed my door, then grabbed the bag and crawled over to my bed and cried quietly. "Not again. Please no." I sobbed under my breath. 

~2 days pass cause I'm elongating the time they have off cause frick u~

~and a trigger warning for self harm~

I haven't left my bed since my talk with my brother, except once to use the bathroom. I've never felt so empty. Ever since the voice came back when I got angry, I had suppressed all of my emotions, refusing to let it back out. I had set the bag of candies on my nightstand, and my mom had place a plate of fruit on my nightstand as well, but Karasu ate it. Karasu attempted several times to get me out of bed, but I just rolled over and pulled the covers higher. Is this what is feels like to die? Am I even still alive? I wondered, and my mind grew more twisted and confused over this. I know how I can check though. I floated up a single feather, the size of a pocket knife, and sharpened it. I raised my hand a bit, the grabbed onto it, the razor sharp edges sinking into my palm. I released it, and the feather was soaked with blood, and blood trickled down my wrist and arm. A hot, tingly, familiar sensation of pain rose, and I watched the blood flow. Proof I was still alive, even if I don't feel it. I hoisted myself out of bed with  tremendous amount of  effort, and stumbled slightly, my legs feeling like jello. I wrapped my hand with a roll of bandages I had on my desk. I figured my hand would be the best, cause it's pretty normal for me to have beat up hands. I heard the doorbell ring and I looked down at my rumpled t shirt and jeans, then shrugged. I tied up my hair and hauled myself out of my room with Karasu close behind, and opened the door.

 I looked up to see All Might and Aizawa at the door, and my eyes widened slightly, and I took a step backward. "Um- Mom. My teachers are at the door." I called. "Hello, Ms. Takami. May we come in?" All Might asked in a cheery tone. "Oh, sure. My apologies. Do you want anything?" I asked, faking another smile, and I stepped to the side, then closed the door behind them. "No, it's quite alright." All Might told me. Karasu landed on my shoulder, and I led them to the living room where we all sat down and my mom and dad hurried in to join us. "Hello, All Might, Mr. Aizawa. Is this about the dorm system?" My mom asked, then sat on a chair. "Yes, we've come to ask about whether you'd allow us the privilege to continue teaching young (Y/n)." "We've thought about it, and truly, the choice is her's. I think it would be good for her, especially being with her peers more. This is the first time she's left her room in days, and her fellow heroes in training could help prevent that." my dad explained, and I shot him a glare for mentioning the bedroom thing. "Oh, alright. What do you think, (Y/n)? And are you ok? Record said you refused the therapy program we had set up for students, but if you're still having a hard time we could set you up." All Might told me. "No, I'm alright. Just... adjusting I guess. I know I haven't answered your question yet, but have you already stopped by at Bakugo's? If so, how is he?" I asked. I know I could've texted him or something, since everyone in class had shared their numbers, some more willingly than others. Bakugo and I took a while to convince. But I didn't feel up to it. "He appears to be doing quite well, we visited his family earlier today." All Might said, and Aizawa stared off into the distance, zoning out. "Good to hear. One more thing- Mr. Aizawa?" "Hm?" he said, snapping back to attention. "Thanks. For being a good teacher, I mean. I saw the press conference, and I'm glad you realized that. And I'm sorry for all the trouble I've given you because of my attitude, and I'll try my best to stop being so obnoxious and rude." I said, feeling like shit. "Oh. Thank you, (Y/n). I'm glad to hear that, and no hard feelings. I'm glad you're motivated to do better." He responded, the barest hint of a smile drifting across his face. It was weird. "But to finally answer your question, yes. I will continue at UA and will gladly move into a dorm."