Shielding (Todoroki x reader)

27~ Who I was and who I am

(Y/n's P.O.V)

I went to sleep, and just like yesterday, we've been doing our intense training all day. At some point I heard Kirishima and the others who failed join us. I turned my head to look, but then reminded myself of the blindfold. I listened in, and Aizawa was lecturing them on improving their quirks, then yelled "Uraraka, Aoyama, Takami! Same goes for you. Your team didn't fail, but you were very close. I'd say you passed the proverbial finish line by only a hair." Uraraka yelped "That bad?" and Aoyama groaned in pain "Mon dieu." "Whatever. Thanks for the confidence booster, Mr. Aizawa." I responded, practicing my barrier of feathers. Everyone went silent for a second, and I suddenly sensed vibrations in the air hurtling towards me. I pushed down with what was left of my wings and shot up, and condensed the part of the barrier that was facing towards the vibrations. I felt Aizawa's scarf bounce off the shield, but then my quirk was erased. My feathers fell uselessly to the ground and my wings drooped. "You've improved significantly, but don't keep up that attitude." He replied, sounding slightly impressed. I felt my quirk return and the tension dissipate, and I recalled my feathers into my wings and continued my training. "Don't lose focus. Each of you can move faster! And no matter what you're doing, just remember where you started from. Don't forget who you were before UA. Always keep in mind why you're sweating, and why your limits keep getting tested. That's what it means to improve." He continued. "Who I used to be." I thought out loud. 

I remembered my brother's kind smile and how he used to play with me before he left, how he would ignore me every time he came home from school at UA, how he would brag about how great a hero he was going to be, how famous he was going to be, how he didn't come home for years after becoming a pro, my parents always talking about how proud they were of him when I would show them something I did. And then I remembered when I took on the personality I have now. Realizing at a young age that no one was going to care, and that the only way I could protect myself and others was to be intimidating and show people that I was willing to hurt myself and those around me to achieve my goals. I became quiet, only talking when I needed to, and when I did talk it was normally to lash out at someone. I remember being called a villain by one of my peers. Multiple times. I chose to embrace that title, then show them wrong when I became a better hero than Hawks himself. "And I'll do whatever it takes to get there." 

I started practicing making my feathers different textures, like how hard or how sharp they could be. I heard Aizawa and Midoriya have a quiet conversation that I couldn't quite hear the details of, then Ragdoll shouted "That's why you get to work out with us four pussycats!" I winced at her loud voice, and my concentration faltered, causing a a few feathers to clatter to the floor. I quickly floated them back up and continued, feeling Aizawa's annoyed stare. "Meow, meow, meow, meow! More importantly, tonight's gonna be fun! We're pitting classes against each other in a test of courage. I know you've been training hard today. And later, you'll get to play hard! How's that for a reward?"Pixie Bob shouted. "It just sounds like more training." replied Kendo, and Jiro added "And training in the dark no less." "Revelry in the dark." Tokoyami said, ominously. I just replied "Oooh careful not to cut yourself on that edge, Tokoyami." "Heh." I heard him chuckle a bit at my remark. "How much can we do in one day?" I heard a boy from class B ask, and Monoma laughed tiredly and responded "'Least we get to beat class A, am I right?" "Don't slack now! Make sure you keep pushing yourself as you work!" Pixie Bob shouted. "Yes, Ma'am." we all responded, picking up the pace in our training, kinda like when the music in a video game speeds up.

 At the end of the day we all joined back together to cook some stew for dinner. I was managing four pots at once, adding the ingredients and beckoning Midoriya over who was picking up wood. I heard Uraraka comment "Whoa, Bakugo, you're really good with that knife! It's weird." "WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'IT'S WEIRD'? HOW CAN YOU PEOPLE BE SO DAMN BAD AT EVERYTHING?" Bakugo shouted back. "Look at that. He's not blowing stuff up." Kaminari said with a sarcastic impressed tone. "I'm too tired for this." Kirishima mumbled. Midoriya came over and set the wood at my feet, and I moved over so he could start putting it in the fire. Shoto came around from the sink to talk to him "Did you need All Might for a particular reason? You asked Mr. Aizawa about him." "So that's what he and Aizawa were talking about." "Yeah. Um. I did. Because of Kota." Midoriya replied. "Kota? Who's that?" Shoto asked, and I mentally face palmed. His absent mindedness is endearing, but sometimes it's kinda concerning. "Huh? The boy that's over there. He's Mandalay's cousin's... Hold on. Where did he go?" Midoriya asked, confused. "I saw him head off. Probably to his hideout." I mentioned, recalling watching the short boy walk off into the woods. "Anyway, Kota doesn't like heroes. Actually, he hates the whole concept of superhumans, Quirks and everything. I tried to talk to him, but I think I just made things worse. I was just wondering what All Might would've done to help him if he'd been here. I mean, what would you say to him, Todoroki?" he continued. "He want's the world's most well known hero to talk to someone who despises heroes? Interesting idea on paper, but probably not good in practice." I thought to myself. "It depends." Shoto said, thoughtfully. "Of course, sorry I asked!" Midoriya yelped, sounding embarrassed. I reached down a wing and patted him on the back gently, and when he looked up. "I don't think he was finished." I mouthed. "To have a complete stranger try to change your mindset sounds like a pretty irritating conversation. What matters are actions. You have to show him what you're trying to prove. Right? If you're going to rely on words alone, then they'd better be incredibly powerful. What you say doesn't matter near as much as what you actually do." Shoto continued, and Midoriya smiled to himself and replied "You're right. I went about this the wrong way. How can I, a stranger, say anything to him?" "Probably doesn't help that I partially agree with the kid." I mumbled, rubbing my head nervously. "I don't know what your goal is when it comes to this child. But it sounds to me like you shouldn't be sticking your nose in a delicate situation. You tend to cut to the heart of people's feelings. It can be annoying. You too, (Y/n). So if you two plan on going about changing this child's mindset, I'd be more cautious then you tend to be with everyone else." Shoto finished. "Of course, sorry about that." Midoriya said nervously, probably remembering the sports festival.

 I went quiet and thought about the kettle incident at my house and tensed up my shoulders, staring down at the food I was cooking. "(Y/n)." Shoto said softly. I looked up trying not to show the tears in my eyes from the guilt I felt. "It's alright. You're ok. I'm ok." He said, repeating what I told him while he cried in my arms that afternoon. I raised my sleeve and wiped my eyes and nodded. "You guys! You're hands aren't moving! We'll never make the best stew if you stop now!" Iida shouted at us, and I retorted "I don't have to move my hands, we just started putting in the wood and there has to at least be a fire before I do anything else." Iida looked incredibly offended, then bent down and started vigorously peeling potatoes. "That wasn't very nice, (Y/n)..." Midoriya mumbled nervously. "He was distracting us from doing our work." I said, loud enough for Iida to hear. He made a weird angry, offended choking noise and continued peeling the potatoes. Shoto let out a sigh and bent down to light up the fire. "Thank you, Shoto." I responded, giving him a smile, and a small blush crossed his face and he hurried away with the pot of water he was holding.