Shielding (Todoroki x reader)

35~ Give up

(Y/n's P.O.V)

The police brought me home and I was placed under temporary house arrest to ensure my safety. I found my stuff from camp in my room, including my phone and earbuds. With nothing to do except think, I ended up digging myself into a deep hole in my mind within hours. We received a notice about UA Dorms the next day, and I read over it. I set it on the table, said it was a good idea and I agreed with it. My parents seemed to be concerned, because they took notice of how I hadn't eaten since I'd been home, and this was the first time I'd left my room. "Are you alright, (Y/n)? You seem upset." My mom asked, stepping towards me. "I'm alright mom. Don't worry about it. I'm just thinking." I assured her. "Well, you can tell us what happened if it'll help." "No, it's fine." I replied, then retreated back into my room, lied on the floor, and curled up into fetal position. I opened my phone and scrolled through the articles about All Might, and found an article about Best Jeanist. I read through, and it said he was doing better, thanks to UA student, (Y/n) Takami, who quickly removed him from the battlefield and brought him to the hospital, along with an injured bystander. I smiled at it, then scrolled down more, and slowly more and more of the articles began to be about the heroes that I murdered. I spotted something in the comments that said "What if one of the UA students was the person in the cloak? It makes sense, since they only showed up now, and we probably won't ever see them again. It just makes sense." my eyes widened and I winced. I read more and people agreed, but others demanded that such a thing not even be suggested. I remembered their faces and the feeling of crushing the woman's skull. It all seemed so exciting and fun at the time, but now I gagged whenever I thought about it. That violent voice in my head had been replaced by one that reminded me that I caused other people pain, and somehow forced me to come to the conclusion that if I had just tried harder, not gotten captured, saved Bakugo... the world would still have their Symbol of Peace. I put my phone face down on the ground and slid it across the room. My wings were almost fully recovered, but each feather was a slightly darker, ashier color than they usually were. I used my wing as a blanket and lied there on the floor, my mind blank and empty, tears dripping down my cheek. I stayed like that for another hour and a half before there was a knock at the door. The voices sounded more muffled and hollow than normal, then there was a knock on my bedroom door. I told them to come in, thinking it was my mom, but Shoto stepped in with Karasu on his shoulder. "Hi, (Y/n). I wanted to bring Karasu back to you and see how you're doing." he said, standing just inside the doorway. I sat up quickly and wiped my face on my sleeve then turned around. "Hi! Sorry I was so quiet yesterday, I didn't mean to be rude." I said, forcing a smile. 

(Shoto's P.O.V)

When I opened the door, (Y/n) had been curled up on the floor. I got really worried for a moment, but then she sat up and seemed fine. I told her there was no need to apologize, and she just kept smiling. "Wow, Karasu grew a lot since the last time I saw her! She looks like a full grown raven now!" (Y/n) said, stroking Karasu's feathers, then lifting her off my shoulder. "How are you feeling?" I asked. "Oh. Uh-" She stuttered, looking nervous. I got worried and my brow furrowed, but she blurted "No, no! I've been well, just a bit tired. Sorry." "What are you sorry for?" I asked. "Oh, um. Sorry." she said looking down. I raised an eyebrow, and at this point I was really confused. I heard the front door open, and the rustling of plastic bags and feathers in the entry. A moment later Hawks appeared at the bedroom door. "Hey." He said, looking bored. He made a gesture with his head signalling me to leave. I looked back at (Y/n), then at him. I sighed "Hey, (Y/n), I have to go. I'll see you soon." I gave her a hug and walked away, leaving (Y/n) looking confused and guilty. Once I was in the hallway, he turned to me and whispered just loud enough to hear. "Hey, sorry but you should leave. It's nice of you to visit, but I don't think it's helping anything." He pointed back to her room, and I peeked around the doorway, and she was back on the floor, back to the door. I felt my expression fall, I turned towards the door, then left. 

(Hawk's P.O.V)

I don't like dealing with the brat, but it's not like her to shut herself in her room this long. Also, she'll have important information about the League. My mom messaged me the situation with (Y/n), so I grabbed some fried chicken and a bag of konpeito and headed to the family home. I found Endeavor's kid in her room when I got back, and I recognized the expression (Y/n) had on her face instantly. I'd seen it so many times when we were kids, if mom and dad had yelled at her, or if she had a bad day at school, when she didn't want anyone to know she was upset. I hate to admit it, but I love the kid. She's been a pretentious jerk the past couple of years, but I guess so have I, but I'm not sure what to make it better. I asked E's kid to scram, then I stepped to the doorway of her bedroom. I tapped the doorway and said in a flat voice "Knock knock. I'm comin in." I stepped in and sat on the floor beside her, and she sat up to look at me. "Oh, Keigo. What is it?" She asked, looking tired. "I wanna talk with you. We have some catching up to do, after all these years. You haven't been doin' too hot, it seems." I told her, lifting the candy and chicken out of the shopping bags. She looked confused, then looked up at me. "Oh. Thank you. I'm not very hungry though." She said, and I handed her a box of spicy chicken. "Hey, cut that shit out. I don't know what you're thinking, but you haven't eaten since god knows when, and you normally eat a shit ton of food." I snapped at her. She looked taken aback, then set the container in front of her and her expression fell a bit. "Sorry. Eat it if you want. It's the spicy flavor you used to make mom and dad get all of the time though. But seriously, Mom said you haven't eaten anything since you got home. When did you eat last? We're worried." I said, mentally face palming. I'm not very good at this whole comforting thing. Especially when it comes to (Y/n). I still regret hitting her, and I remember it every day and mentally damn myself. No matter what, she's still my sibling, even if she's different from the bubbly, excited, and loud little girl she used to be. She looked down at her hands and tapped her finger tips together softly. "Hm. It's been... 4 days. I guess I should eat something. Thanks. I'm surprised you remember that." She picked up the box and started eating, and I ate some of mine. "I'd ask if you wanna go for a flight, but I guess not." I thought out loud. "Yeah. Thanks though. This is nice." She said in a monotone voice, her expression a crooked, strained smile. "You don't need to keep up that face with me. I know what you're doing, I've known you for 15 years and seen it plenty of times. If you're upset, you can ask for help you know." I told her around a mouthful of chicken. She made a weird, sad choking noise, and her smile finally broke and tears welled up in her eyes. She quickly wiped her face with her sleeves, then looked at me and said in a strangled voice, holding back tears "You used to say that to me all the time whenever Mom yelled at me." "Yeah, I guess so. Hey kid, what's going on? Sure you're kinda always a broody teenager, but it's normally... more angry-angsty brooding than this." She sniffed and giggled a little "Yeah? I don't really feel like talking about it. But what I'm wondering is, what's up with this change of heart? You'd never do this for me without a reason. I'm gonna guess you wanna know about the League." "Well, some information about the League is part of it, but... I really was worried about you. We haven't really talked like this since before I went to UA."