Shielding (Todoroki x reader)

44~ Suppress

(Shoto's P.O.V)

After (Y/n) threw that kettle, I had to leave from the memories. Sure, the memories from my mom hurt, but the memories of that afternoon at (Y/n)'s house hurt more. The memories are as vivid and clear in my mind as if they were happening in this moment. I saw her squished in beside me under the desk, her reassuring voice, the feeling of her fingers slowly running through my hair, her hand in mine. I thought for a long time, standing out on my little balcony when out of no where, (Y/n) was suddenly in front of me. She dropped down a split second later, and I heard a thud and scrambling on the balcony below me. I suddenly felt like crying, and I looked down at my hand, which was now stuck in ice that had spread and covered my entire railing, and little snowflakes swirled in the air around me. I started pulling my hand away and straining against it, and while I struggled I began to cry. I regret what I did yesterday. I can't just take it back now. I miss her, I hate this feeling. She's right there, but she's so distant at the same time. "I really fucked up this time." I whimpered. "It'll be better for her... this is for her." I croaked almost silently through tears to remind myself. I cried so hard no sound came out, and after a bit more struggling my hand finally broke free. Once I calmed down enough, my quirk deactivated, and I crawled on to floor and lied down on my bed for a while. 

(Y/n's P.O.V)

When I jumped from my balcony, for a split second I considered not opening my wings. Just letting myself fall. I rationalized that the third floor wasn't enough to do that damage I had considered, and unfolded my wings to drift to the ground carefully. I found Aizawa, who sent me to Gym Gamma where a few other students were preparing. I sighed in exasperation but went anyway, having wanted a space to practice alone. I looked for a relatively empty space, then began to practice my moves. First was the shield I learned at camp. I crouched down, then leaped into the air, immediately disbanding the vast majority of my wings. I closed my eyes and focused, cutting out any distraction, and began to make the shield spin violently around me, and when I peeked my eye open, all I could see was a blur of grey. The singed grey color triggered memories of the blue flames blasting out behind me, and images of Dabi's face and the blood on my hands flashed behind my eyes. I quickly lost balance  and landed in an awkward somersault, back flip movement onto my back and the loud clattering of sharpened feathers on the ground sounded out. I realized I was hyperventilating, and began to slow my breath, and looked back at my wings. They were back to their normal black and white, as after a few rejuvenations the scorched color from the burns had faded. I recalled my feathers and felt them slowly fold back into my wings, and behind me footsteps approached. 

I turned, still kneeling on the ground and trying to collect myself, expecting someone was going ask me if I was alright, or if someone had just came over to ask to practice together. But instead, some upperclassmen who had been practicing to retake the license exam simply walked by, some glaring out of the corners of their eyes, others pretending not to notice, and one went as far to kick a small pebble at my face when the others weren't looking. I brushed my face of and stood up, feeling anger rise up, and my feathers sharpen and detach. I felt my eyelid twitch a little, and just before I was about to lose it and strike the kid, I turned sharply on my heel, let out a frustrated scream, then sent all my feathers flying at the wall, causing it to crack, and a few chunks of concrete to topple down. I heard the upperclassman speed up, and and I dislodged my feathers from the wall and continued to practice the shield, shoving down any emotion. I continued practicing my moves until I felt sick from exhaustion. 

I trudged back to the Heights Alliance, feeling the sting on my cheek from the pebble earlier, not having felt it until I was out of the intensity of training. I reached into my pocket to use my phone to check my face, but instead pulled out my earbuds that I had forgotten about. I stepped up to the door of the Alliance, and a familiar heavy feeling set in on my mind. I dropped the earbuds on the concrete, listening to the quiet clatter, then stepped forward to open the doors, a small crunch sounding as I moved on. I looked around the lounging area and was greeted by the usual scene: my tired classmates sitting and talking together, a few in the kitchen eating, Kaminari charging everyone's phones. I  was about to walk to the elevator when I saw Momo sitting beside Shoto, blushing and giggling as she talked to him. I felt my wings bristle and suddenly a hand was on my shoulder and I turned to see, or not see, Tohru. "Hey (Y/n)! Wanna sit with us? We're all chatting about the exam, if you wanna join." I opened my mouth to decline, but as soon as I did a high pitched whining/crying noise came out instead, and all the emotion I had worked so hard to force down started rising up. I quickly shut my mouth and shook my head, glad I couldn't see her expression. I walked away and as I passed Momo and Shoto, I began to feel nauseous from holding back tears.

 I ran for the elevator and repeatedly pushed the button until it opened. I stumbled into it, and waited for the door to close. I set out a strangled wail and shot out my feathers in anger, but softened them before they could do any damage, as being in trouble for property damage, again, is the last thing I need. I ran to my room and grabbed a towel and clean clothes, then went down to the showers. I went into one of the bathrooms and locked the door behind me, then quickly undressed and got into the shower. I turned the water to hot, and felt the stinging pain on my skin, watching my skin turn pinkish red under it. I began to cry, the tears being quickly washed away by the water. I washed up and wiped my face off, then looked in the fogged up mirror. I rubbed the mirror with my towel and inspected the small scrape on my cheek from the pebble. I washed my face and dried off, detached my soaked feathers, got dressed, then shut my feathers in the shower. I spun them for a while to get the water off, then opened the shower and recalled them. I ran my fingers through my damp hair with a sigh, then went up to my room.