Why Have I Done This??? (Lams Oneshots)

Break Up

John's POV

   I'm going home to my roommate today, YAY! Alexander Hamilton is my roommate, best friend, and secret crush. I love him to pieces in more ways than one and I can't wait see him again. I've been in South Carolina with my family for a couple days. I came out to my parents, which went well, and we celebrated my birthday. Now it's time to return to college. Alex and I don't live in a dorm, we split the rent of an apartment and live off ramen and pop tarts. I can't wait to see him! He straight black hair and hazel eyes blow my away. The only problem? He's dating one of the most popular girls in school, Eliza Schuyler. She's far smarter, hotter, and cooler than I am so of course he'd choose her. I've kind of come to terms with it. He's caught me crying or them before but he doesn't know. He just thinks I have crush on someone random. I just pulled up to my parking spot and turned off the car. I grabbed my stuff and unlocked the door.
   "HEY, ALE-" I stopped dead, Alex was sitting on the couch and he looked like a mess. He was sobbing and shoveling mint chocolate chip ice cream in his mouth. He sat covered in blankets with his hair matted and loose at his shoulders and his eyes were sunken. He was watching a sad movie and cuddling his stuffed lion, Rachel. "Baby, what's wrong?" Alex and I are super close so we're super comfortable with calling each other nicknames. I dropped my stuff and rushed forward. He sniffed a bunch and tried to pull himself together but failed and sobbed into my shoulder. "Alex? Talk to me, Peaches. What's going on?" I only call him Peaches when I'm really worried and I'm hella worried.
"Sh-She br-broke up w-with m-me." He sobbed, I felt my heart crack and I squeezed him tight.
"Oh, baby. I'm so sorry."
"Sh-She br-broke up-" he started to sob again and I shushed him gently.
"Do you wanna talk about it or just hug?"
"I-in a m-minute." After a few minutes Alex calmed down enough to talk and not stumble over his words so much.
"Tell me what happened, Lex."
"We went out on your birthday and I kept talking and she said she was done. I asked her why and she told because I loved someone else."
"Is that true?" He nodded and I frowned. "Then why are you upset?"
"I don't want it to be true!" He sobbed.
"Why not?"
"Because he'll never love me as anything more than a friend." Alex sobbed.
"Oh, Alex, I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do?"
"Can we just stay here?"
"Of course, Baby." Alex and I settled on the couch and he grabbed his tub of ice cream.
"Do you want ice cream?"
"Nah. I don't wanna disturb you."
"I've got two spoons." Alex sniffed.
"Why the fu-"
"I accidentally grabbed two." Alex handed me the extra one and I grinned. "I'm so stupid." He mumbled, I wrapped an arm around him and kissed the side of his head.
"No, you're not. You're smarter than all of us." Alex shook his head and I pulled him closer. Alex turned his attention to the movie and shoveled ice cream in his face.
"It hurts." He mumbled.
"I know. Break ups are the worst."
"I don't care that she broke up with me." He mumbled. "I'll never be loved."
"That's not true." I rubbed his back and he wiped his tears on his lion. "Rachel loves you."
"She's a lion."
"That's not who I'm talking about."
"She's dead." Alex's mother gave him that lion before she died and Alex named it after her.
"Yeah but she still loves you, Alex. James loves you too." James was Alex's brother and he died in a hurricane.
"He's also dead." Alex muttered.
"He still loves you."
"Do you love me?" Alex looked me dead in the eye and I blushed.
"Of course I love you, Alex. You're my best friend." I wasn't gonna tell him I've been hopelessly in love with him since he moved in three years ago.
"Ok." He mumbled, he sounded...disappointed.
"What? Am I not supposed to love my best friend?"
"No! I just-...I guess I-...I was just thinking-..." Alex couldn't spit it out and I sighed.
"You didn't take your meds did you?" He shook his head and I chuckled. "Take them tomorrow, ok?" Alex nodded and we stuffed our faces with ice cream. Alex eventually fell asleep on my shoulder and I carried him to his room. I wrapped him in blankets and let him hug his lion before leaving the door open. I cleaned up the mess and clicked off the tv, laying on the couch. I fell asleep, my mind racing about Alex.