Why Have I Done This??? (Lams Oneshots)

Gods

A/N - at risk of sounding sexist or some bs men should not be allowed to grocery shop please and thank u

Request made by @lazyhe_06

John's POV

I sighed heavily and pressed my fingers to the map on the table. Immediately several chess pieces of various colors erupted on the map poised over their respective countries. I grinned and touched each and every pawn, fueling anger between world leaders and smaller countries alike. I am the god of war and destruction. That's what my dad taught me and that's all I'll ever know. Lafayette slipped into the room and bent over the map. "Whatcha doin'?"
"Trying to solve the Great Depression. The sisters are going ballistic." Laf laughed and I chuckled.
"I'll get Alex-"
"No!" Laf frowned and I shifted. "I can do this myself. I don't need that asshat's help." I growled. Oh yeah, Alexander is the god of wisdom and war strategy. We're supposed to work together but I hate him and he hates me. I don't need his help. I can do this myself. He's just judgmental and I know how he usually does it so...I'm fine.
"John, you should really call-"
"I said no. Don't you have a harvest to over see?" I shoved him away and shut the door with a sigh. "I can do this." I started moving pawns and sighed. I put them all in Europe and sighed heavily. Now we wait.

Alexander's POV

   I yawned and sipped my coffee. Lafayette poked his head in and I looked up. "Hey." I smiled.
   "Hey...um...John just started a war and I think you should-"
   "God damn it." I got up and headed into the war room. I threw open the door and John looked up from his book. "What do you think you're doing?"
   "Fixing the Great Depression."
   "This isn't the way- What the fuck is Germany doing? Why is everyone-" I went to move a pawn but my feet were rooted to the spot.
   "Back off." There is a reason I hate John Laurens and this is it.
   "Stop being a cocky bitch! You're gonna start another World War!" I tried to move and John just rolled his eyes.
   "Whatever you can do I can do. Just go away."
   "Laurens, you don't understand. You don't have the same po-" My mouth clamped shut and I groaned.
   "Listen, Hamilton. Whatever you have to say doesn't fucking matter. I don't like you and you don't like me. Let me keep this simple. Stay the fuck away from me and I'll stay away from you." I pushed from the room and the door slammed.
   "JOHN! YOU CANT DO THIS BY YOURSELF!" I banged on the door and groaned. "FINE! SCREW EVERYTHING UP! I DONT CARE! DONT COME CRYING TO ME WHEN THE WORLD IS FUCKED!" I stormed off and slammed the door to my room. There was a knock and I threw the door open.
   "Is it John?" Eliza hummed.
   "It's always John." I fell into my bed and Eliza laughed.
   "Maybe you should try to nice to him?"
   "I have! He doesn't fucking listen! He only cares about himself!" Eliza sat next to me and ran her fingers through my hair.
   "I know you like him, Al." I sighed heavily and groaned.
   "I don't know. I guess I do bug he's just so frustrating. I'm killing myself slowly."   
   "Well. Maybe you should tell him how you feel."
   "And feed his ego? I rather not."
   "Alexander." Eliza scolded. "Just talk to him. I'm sure you two can work this out. You used to be best friends."
   "Then he started acting like a dick." I grumbled, Eliza chuckled and pulled one of my curls gently to watch it spring back. "I mean why would he just flip like that. He used to be so sweet and calm. Now he's mean and out of control."
   "I'm sure he has a reason. Just talk to him." I groaned and sighed heavily.
   "I'll talk to him when he stops throwing me out of the war room."

John's POV

"How does Hamilton always make this look so damn easy?" I mutter as I move pieces and check the outcome portal. "Concentration Camps?" I frowned, reaching out and expanding on the small word. I clicked on it and gasped at what I saw. I started moving pieces frantically and glanced back at the treacherous death toll. It rose significantly and I swallowed hard. "Fuck. Um...Laf!" He poked his head in and I showed him my problem.
"Go get Alex."
"No-"
"John, for fuck's sake! Hitler is killing Jews by the hundreds!" I groaned and sulked to Alex's bedroom. I knocked on the door and it swung open. Eliza day on Alex bed, running her fingers through his red curls and rubbing his side. Alex had fallen asleep in her lap and he looked peaceful.
"What?" Eliza asked quietly.
"I need him." I grumbled.
"He's asleep. Can it wait?" The death toll flashed in my head and I bit my lip. I shook my head and Eliza sighed. She gently shook Alex and he whined, rolling over. "Alex, wake up." She shook him again and he sat up, his eyes glowing dully.
"What?" He whined, Eliza chuckled and he sat up. "Go away, Laurens."
"I really need your he-"
"I told you not to come crying to me if-" I glared at him and got up. "I said no! Leave me the fuck alone! I'm sick and fucking tired of this bullshit!" Alex pushed me into the hall and tried to slam the door.
"Alex, I really need your help." He stopped and looked up at me. I never ever call him 'Alex' if I can help it and he knows that. His eyes stopped glowing and he stepped back a bit.
"What, exactly, did you do?" He asked.
"I think you should see for yourself." I mumbled, Alex tore down the hall and burst into the war room. He gasped and looked back at me.
"LAURENS!" I smiled sheepishly and Alex hurried to the table. He rearranged pawns and frantically scrolled through the portal. "This is why you listen to me! Why you-UGH! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!" He hit my chest. "WHY WOULD YOU PUSH ME AWAY LIKE THIS!" Again. "WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH!" He started pounding his fists on my chest. "WHY CANT WE JUST BE FRIENDS LIKE WE WERE!" Alex cried angrily. "YOURE NOTHING BUT A STUPID, EGOTISTICAL ASSHOLE!" He sobbed, falling into my arms.
"I'm sorry." I mumbled, Alex weakly hit me and sniffed.
"What's your reason?"
"Huh?"
"What's your reason for being a dick suddenly?" I bit my lip and Alex sat in a chair.
"I-...I don't know. Every time I see you I feel funny. My stomach twists in knots and my cheeks get hot. I don't know. I thought if I pushed you away it would fix it but it only got worse and now I don't know what to do." I gushed, talking fast. Alex stares at me for a moment and sighed.
"You're an idiot!" Alex snapped.
"See that! That is why! You are mean to me too."
"I swear to god, Laurens. I'm mean to you cause you're a dick to me. I like you! Can't you see that! It hurts when you say my hair looks weird or when you say my eyes are a stupid color. It's not nice, Laurens. I'm mean to you because I thought I would get over you but your stupid smile and your stupid jokes aren't helping!" I blinked a few times and Alex turned his head away from me.
"Wait...you...what?" Alex glanced at me and huffed.
"Don't patronize me."
"No. I'm serious. I don't understand." I put my hands on the table and accidentally knocked over a pawn. Alex picked it up and frowned at me.
"I have a crush on you, John." He sighed, my stomach felt funny and my cheeks got hot.
"Stop it!" I shuffled back and Alex sighed. "Stop making me hate you."
"I'm not-..." Alex seemed to realize something and he stood up. "I'm gonna do something and you're not going to freak out. Got it?" I nodded slowly and Alex pressed his lips to my cheek. My cheeks got hotter and my stomach exploded. I started to stammer and Alex smiled. "Would you chill out? Do you know what it feels like to be cared about?" Alex asked slowly, I frowned and Alex sighed heavily. He pressed his hand to my forehead and I gasped.
"No, no, wait!" Alex viewed my past and I swallowed hard. "Um...I can explain-" he pulled my hand up and placed it on his forehead. I sighed and viewed his past. "So we're both tragic?" I chuckled a bit and Alex smiled lightly.
"Maybe just a little." He looked at the bench in the room and took my hand. "Come here." He sat me down and sat next to me. "Tell me everything. All your feelings."
"Hamil-"
"I can help. Don't push me away." So I told him... everything. He listened intently and started to lean against me after awhile. His eyes fluttered closed and he fell asleep. I didn't know what to do and I didn't wanna wake him again so I just sat there until Eliza came looking for him. She laughed when she saw us and Alex stirred.
"Shush!" I hissed.
"Relax. It's after midnight. He's as good as dead." Eliza smirked, peering over the table. "So...did he talk to you?"
   "Yeah...I don't know what game he's playing but it's not funny."
   "He likes you, John. He has a crush on you."
   "I honestly don't get it."
   "John...he wants to be with you...romantically."
   "What!" Alex stirred and I froze. "No...that's not possible-" Alex turned and leaned closer, shivering a bit. I used my magic to conjure a blanket for him and wrapped it around him tightly.
"And you want to be with him romantically." My cheeks got hot again and I frowned. Alex suddenly sat up and started moving pawns. He yawned and I sat up.
"Death toll is rising." He sighed heavily and Eliza rolled her eyes.
"Do it, Alex."
"No! I'm not gonna-" Eliza glared at him and he sighed. He grabbed the collar of my shirt and yanked me down into a kiss. I didn't want to push him off. Instead I pulled him closer and kissed him back.
"At least this war is over. I'll let you two talk." Eliza skipped from the room and Alex looked at his feet.
"I'm sorry, I-" I kissed him again and he gasped, kissing back. "Wow...um...I-" Alex backed away and touch his lips. "I'm so sorry." Alex ran from the room and Peggy poked her head in.
   "What did I just do?" I sighed heavily and fell onto the bench in defeat.
   "Eliza told me everything."
   "I kissed him and he freaked out! I thought that's what he wanted!"
   "You have to remember that Alex thinks you hate him and he has a lot of anxiety." I sighed heavily and Peggy laughed. "Go talk to him!"
   "How could I-"
   "Chill out and go talk to him!" Eliza came in and sighed.
"He's in his room crying. What did you say?"
"Nothing! I just kissed him again and he ran away!" Eliza groaned and grabbed my collar, putting her hand on my forehead. Memories of Alex sobbing and trying to harm himself because of me flooded my vision and I gasped.
"He is in love with you and you've done nothing but shit on him. You two used to be best friends! What happened?"
"Ma died..." I mumbled, Eliza sighed and flicked my forehead.
"Go talk to him and tell him how you feel. Don't try to hid it. Your stomach twists and your cheeks get hot because you love him! Now go!"
"Fine." I gently knocked on his door and huffed.
"Go away!"
"Alexander, please?"
"Just leave me alone!"
"I-" The door swung open and Alex slapped my chest.
"This isn't funny! This isn't a game! You hate me! I know that! How could I be so stupid! Why did I let you kiss me!" He cried.
"I...I don't hate you, Alex. I don't know what I feel. My dad fucked me up pretty bad. I didn't kiss you to make you upset. I kissed you because I wanted too. I-..." I stopped myself and Alex wiped his face.
"Why were you so mean?" He whimpered, I sighed heavily and took his hand.
"I wasn't trying to be mean. I'm not very good at handling my feelings. Ever since Ma died I kind of shut off that part of me." Alex's eyes softened and he sniffed.
"Well you were still very mean."
"I meant to say you're eyes are pretty and your hair looked nice but...it didn't come out right. This isn't a game. I-...um-...I-..." I stammered, all of my confidence suddenly gone. "I want to be with you... romantically." I blurted out, covering my face. Alex gently pulled my hands away and put his hands on my shoulders.
"I can't just magically forgive you and start dating you, John." Alex sighed.
"What's dating?" I frowned, Alex smiled a bit and pressed a kiss on my cheek.
"It's when two people who like each other spend a lot of time together. They go out and do things and fall in love."
"Do they kiss?"
"Yes...They kiss."
"Then I wanna do that."
"It's not that simple, John." He sighed, I bit my lip and pat my chest. "I'm sorry." He slipped past me and into the war room. Eliza rolled her eyes and put her hand up, motioning for me to stay.

Alexander's POV

I sighed heavily and Eliza shut the door behind her. I glanced at her and moved a couple pawns. "Betsy, I know you're the goddess of love but please don't-"
"Alex, you know you love him and he loves you. What's stopping you?" I sighed heavily and Eliza forced me to sit on the bench with her. Eliza and I have always been super close and she know exactly how to get answers out of me. He started messing with my hair and rubbing my shoulder.
"I'm afraid."
"Of what?"
"Of...him. What might happen to him. I'm afraid of him turning out like Jamie did."
"Gods can't die, Alexander. You were blessed with immortality to check and balance John. You taught him to love. He wants to be with you. That's what you want, right?"
"Yeah, but-"
"No buts. Don't be stupid. Go get him." I got up and tore down the hall, finding him walking towards me.
"Alex, what are you-HMPH!" Without warning I jumped on him and kissed him. He held me close to him and we broke apart to breathe. "What was that for?" John grinned a bit and I giggled.
"I wanna be your boyfriend."
"Boyfriend?"
"Dating." John nodded slowly and I kissed him again.
"Well if it means I get to kiss you then I'm all for it." I blushed and giggled as John carried me into the war room. I kissed him again and John sighed.
"I'm so sorry. I thought if I hated you it would stop but I was so fucking wrong. It just made it worse and I was so consumed in trying to make it go away that I didn't realize I was hurting you and-...Alex, you were my best friend." I brushed his hair back and he sat me on the edge of the table, knocking over a few pawns.
"Forget it. It doesn't matter anymore." John looked down between us and I cupped his cheeks. "Baby-... I'm not afraid anymore. I love you." John's eyes found mine and he smiled.
"I love you, Alexander." He kissed me and I leaned into his touch.
"This has been back and forth for way too long."
"Um...the death toll is rising." I sighed and picked up pieces. "I don't understand. What did I do wrong?"
"You know how only you can see the death toll and only you can start wars." He nodded. "Well, only I can arrange the pawns effectively." I leaned into him and he kissed my head.
"Oh...so I'm an idiot?"
"A little bit, yeah."
"But I'm your idiot."
"Indeed."