To Live and Die In L.A. (FINISHED) Pt. 1

Chapter 3: Sensitivity

"I don't think your mommy would like that, baby!" He said while laughing, still walking away.

When I tell you I stood back up so fast...

Alexys reached for my arm. "Paris it's OKAY!"

I quickly yanked my arm from him as I ran up on Terrell.

*BOP*

I forcefully punched Terrell on the side of his face unexpectedly.

He turned around and pushed me on the ground and got on top of me and slapped me across my face.

"BITCH!" He yelled.

From that moment, I started fighting like my life depended on it. I promise you I was just punching the shit out of him.

I finally got back on my feet and actually got to square up with that nigga.

Soon I heard a bunch of whistles and a security guard pulled me off of him.

"LET ME THE FUCK GO!" I yelled and kicked as tears ran down my face.

I was so heated.

People were recording and laughing but I didn't care, cause let anybody do or say some shit out of line, I'll either handle them myself, or get my brothers on they asses.

I'm so short tempered it don't make no sense. I let little things get to me and I have to work on that.
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1:56 P.M.

"Miss Brooks, your father is here." My assistant principal, Ms. Rodgers said to me.

I rolled my eyes and got up.

As soon as I walked into the front office, my dad looked up at me, obviously irritated.

"Let's go." He said.

When we got in the car it was silent. He started the car and pulled out of the school.

"What the fuck is the problem now, Bubba??" He said.

Tears started to fall down my face again.

"Daddy I'm never happy." I said as my voice cracked.

He looked at me with an unreadable expression.

"I seen my momma get killed, daddy." I say starting to cry even more.

"That moment replays in my head 24/7 and I can't control it. I'm not a bad person I promise you daddy, but I just can't control my emotions! It's hard to grow up without a momma as a FEMALE in south central L.A., and nobody fucking gets that!"

At that point, I was crying so hard. I didn't mean to curse at my dad, but my emotions were everywhere. I didn't like when my anger got the best of me like that, it's like a whole new person comes out.

My dad grabbed my hand as he drove with the other.

"Look, baby. I understand how hurt you are, because I most definitely am too. But you gotta learn that you can't be angry and sad the rest of yo' life, especially when you dealing wit' people. Muhfuckas gone always have some shit to say, but you know why? 'Cause they fucking jealous! Look at yo'self. You're gorgeous wit' a head full of hair, you got all the new clothes and shoes and shit, I mean shit, you LOOK like you got money!" He said causing me to laugh a little.

"But seriously tho, people will always talk shit because of that. But don't let that shit stop you from shining. Yeah yo' mama gone, but guess what? You gone make yo' mama proud. Fuck a hating muthafucka who got some shit to say about her, cause at the end of the day, that's YO' mama, and you know her better than anybody else do."

I took in what he said. I looked straight ahead just staring into space, thinking about her. I knew what my daddy was saying was true, and I always do, but I can never just seem to control myself.

"So anyways, who the fuck was you fighting? And why?" He said as he approached a red light.

I was kinda skeptical to tell him it was a boy, 'cause I didn't want him tryna come up to the school and start stuff. I hated when he did that.

"This boy that was talking to me and Alexys crazy. He said something 'bout my mama and I spazzed out from there." I said looking down.

He looked at me and sighed.

"Look. You too god damn pretty to be fighting. Especially some gay ass boy. I don't wanna ever hear that you fucking fighting wit' a nigga no more. Niggas out here is snakes and they fuckin' crazy. Fuck wit' the wrong one and you gone end up in a fucked up situation, Bubba." He said as he pulled up to Jack In The Box.

I just nodded my head and got out of the car.

This was me and his favorite place to go. Kam and Aaron used to always come with us, but now they think they're too good for it.

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When we left jack in the box he had to stop by his shop so he could pick up some paper work.

I stayed in the car, not wanting people to see me because I looked like I had just got done crying.

But, as soon as you know it, I started crying again.

It just hurts so much to not have my mom. I can't run and talk to her about advice on a boy if I wanted to. I can't cuddle up under her when I'm cramping. I can't talk to her about girl stuff. All because of my bum ass "uncle" and his gang shenanigans.

My daddy always told me and my brothers to never even think about killing someone. If you kill a man, you take a child's father, a wife's husband, a mother's son, a friend, and it could be so much more. But why don't people get that? I'll never understand.

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