The Nightmare of your dreams | Herobrine x Nightmare

Just a phase?

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CHAPTER CONTAINS:
- SELF-HATE
- SELF-HARM
-SUICIDE
PROCEED WITH CAUTION AND ONLY IF YOU HAVE A STRONG HEART AND ARE NOT DEPRESSED OR SEARCHING FOR WAYS TO DIE!!!

The last days I felt rather down. I always thought that I shouldn't be here or even alive... I've grown depressed and I don't know why. With a little sigh I stood up and went outside the bedroom, going over to Nightmares' office. He had to do something important now and usually I wouldn't annoy him, but this time I just had to. Before I'd do something dumb, I'd rather would risk an annoyed Nightmare. As soon as I was on the door and wanted to knock, I hesitated. Should I really... I'm not sure. My thoughts fought for a few moments before I lowered my hand. Just as I wanted to go back to my bedroom, the door opened and revealed Nightmare. "Hero? What's wrong? I saw you standing here."
Well, I guess my plan just dropped.
With a little sigh I went over to Nightmare and hugged him tightly. He stiffened, but soon after he hugged me as well. "I-I don't feel like usually... I feel rather down."
Nightmare sighed softly and picked me up, carrying me into his office and setting me down in the table. "Tell me what's wrong, Hero. When did this feeling start?", he asked. I shrugged awkwardly. "A few days ago... After we watched that movie I think."
"Uhm... Ok... How exactly do you feel?"
"Like I'm not supposed to live."
Nightmare winced. Then he grinned a little bit, slightly worried. "Oh, it's just a phase, Hero. I bet it'll be over soon."
Just a phase.
It's just a phase.
I nodded a little bit. "Are you sure?"
Nightmare chuckled. "Yes. Normally teenagers have that feeling. But it's always just a phase."
A phase...
Only a phase?
"Ok. I'll leave then.", I mumbled and turned around. Nightmare wanted to say something, but I was already out of the door. I went downstairs for almost one hour, talking to Jeb, Notch and Steve. But all three answered the same thing.
It's just a short phase, Herobrine.
Just a simple, short phase that will pass.
I went up to the bedroom and laid down in bed, staring at the ceiling. "It's just a phase, right? It's just a simple phase..."
I sat up and started to rocking back and forth, hugging my knees.
"Just a phase, just a phase, you're not suicidal, it's just a phase, just a phase... Just a phase!", I whispered multiple times, trying desperately to calm myself down. "No need for suicide, it'll pass, that's just a phase, everyone goes through it..."
Someone knocked on the door, but I didn't care. My thoughts were completely all over the place. Someone sat down in front of me and put their hands on my shoulders. It was Null.
"I know what's wrong, Hero. It's not a phase and I know that for a fact. But please, don't do anything stupid now.", he said calmly, locking his eyes with mine. My white ones quickly went away from his and focused on the wall. "Everyone said it's a phase, so everything is alright now. And no one would care about it anyway."
Before I could move away Null slapped me. There I sat now, my cheek aching. He growled lowly. "You do know that we care. But I have no clue anymore what the FUCK is wrong with your head! Why the fuck would you think no one cares?!"
I didn't answer. I couldn't. My eyes avoided his bright glowing ones desperately. Null hissed and stood up. "You know what? Your right if you think that. I DON'T CARE ANYMORE! I tried to help you somehow, but then you block it off completely!" With that, he stormed outside and threw the door close.
I just sat there for a few moments before standing up.
What is wrong with me?
Is this also just a phase...?
I took a long rope out if my closet and my knife. With a swift throw the rope landed on the chair. I unsheathed my knife and put it on my arm, taking a deep breath. With a few fast movements I cut a few times into my skin, feeling how the muscles and the flesh was ripped apart in my arm. The pain was almost unbearable, but it also felt unbelievably good. Each cut washed my fear for the next few minutes away, leaving a peaceful, calm mind. I put the knife on the table,  sitting down on the chair in front of it with the rope. I took the quill Null gave me out of the drawer and dipped it into the blood on my arm, writing something on the piece of paper I put there a few hours ago. With my blood I wrote a letter, in which I put my feelings, my self-hate and explained why I would be doing what I'll do.
After it was done I put the quill next to it, folding it and putting the letter on a place where someone could find it. No matter who will find me, they have to read this.
I pulled the chair under the chandelier. Then I took the rope and made a noose out of it. Then I knotted it to the chandelier.
I took a deep breath and looked out the window, standing on the chair. This was my last time... I can't respawn...
I looked out at the moon which was shining bright in the sky. Nightmare wouldn't be able to do anything against my decision.
With a soft smile I took a few shaky breaths, looking at the stars and slipping the noise around my neck.
It'll all be over soon.
As I took my final breath I threw the chair to the floor, ready to greet death.

(3rd Person FoV)
Nightmare entered the room, confused of what happened. The loud sound was unsettling and he was scared that maybe something happened.
But as soon as he flicked the Lightswitch on he dropped to his knees.
Herobrine was hanging from a rope, his face violently bare and his body pale. His eyes stared at a point Nightmare couldn't see and we're completely dull. Nightmare rose from the ground a few minutes later and took the note from the table, unfolding it with care.
How can this be fair?
Tears rolled down his face as he read the poem.

I'm sorry, Nightmare, but this world is just not my place.
I tried for so long to fix this as fit in,
I've come to realize this world is full of sin.
There's nothing here for me, I'm just a waste of space.
I've got no reason to stay here with this aweful race.
It's a disgrace,
I was misplaced,
Born in the wrong time,
And in the wrong place.
It's Ok though
'cause you'll see me soon.
You'll know when your time has come,
Just look at the moon.
As it shines bright, throughout the night,
And remember everyone's facing their own fight.
But I can't deal with the pain,
I'm not a fighter.
You'll make it through the night,
Just hug your pillow tighter.
So let the world know that I died in vain,
Because the world around me is the one to blame.
And I know in a year you'll forget I'm gone
'cause I'm not something to be dwelled on.
My presence on Earth is not needed any longer,
And if anything, I hope this makes you stronger.
You're the best friend that I ever had,
Such a shame I had to make you so very sad.
But just remember that you meant everything to me
And to my heart you were the only one that held the key.
Now it's time to go,
I'm running out of space to write.
And yes, I lost my fight,
But please, just hold on tight.
I'm watching over you from the clouds above
And sending down the purest and whitest dove,
To watch over you and be my helpful eye.
So this is it world
Goodbye.

The world broke into a million pieces around Nightmare, leaving a crying, yelling boy on the floor that doesn't even seem to be stable. He dropped the letter to the ground. It seemed like ages until Steve, Notch, Null and Jeb dashed inside the room. Nightmare was just a pile of tears and despair now, screaming his lungs out in pain and sadness. Null and Steve picked up the demon with gentle hands and brought him out of the room, helping him walk as he stumbled multiple times. Notch and Jeb stood now alone in the room, looking at the dead Herobrine. Notch took a deep, shaky breath and gently touched his hand, feeling the cold blood and skin on his own skin. Jeb rubbed over his back and lowered his head.
"It was not a phase... But we all hoped that he'd believe it... We should've done something. This all wouldn't have happened if we helped him...", Notch whispered, tears dripping down to the floor. Jeb pulled him into a gentle hug and mumbled: "If it's too much for you, Markus, you can also leave the room." But Notch shook his head determinedly. "No. I want to help."
Jeb nodded and went onto the chair, cutting the rope Hero was hanging on. Notch took his lifeless body and put it gently to the ground. Jeb joined him and softly stroke over Hero's face, closing his eyes for the last time. They both sat there for a few silent minutes, giving the male his last honor.
After almost ten minutes of silence Notch stood up. Jeb did the same and together they went outside to Nightmare and the others.

Damn I'm crying.